tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-82224492490891406372024-03-18T21:02:30.622-07:00Soap Box DodgerIncoherent ranter and rambler, specialising in topics he knows little about, usually from the comfort of an armchair.SBDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07474818758094507873noreply@blogger.comBlogger38125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8222449249089140637.post-41809597991624957412013-01-29T03:40:00.002-08:002013-01-29T03:40:19.179-08:00The attention seeking of North Korea…
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; mso-ansi-language: EN;">As
attention seeking behaviour goes, <st1:country-region w:st="on">North Korea</st1:country-region>’s
recent declaration that its rocket launches "are targeted at the<span style="color: blue;"> </span><st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">United
States</st1:place></st1:country-region>, the arch-enemy of the Korean
people," lies somehow between burning a copy of the Quaran, and your
average Joey Barton tweet. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none;">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; mso-ansi-language: EN;">It's
the hallmark of a pantomime villain who's put out to find Widow Twankey's protruding
belly is frightening the children more than he does. Because on the
international stage, <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:country-region w:st="on">North
Korea</st1:country-region></st1:place> has become a sideshow; and it's
throwing its toys well and truly out of the pram because of it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; mso-ansi-language: EN;"></span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; mso-ansi-language: EN;">To be
fair, you can see where they're coming from. As recently as last December, The
Democratic People's <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:placetype w:st="on">Republic</st1:placetype>
of <st1:placename w:st="on">Korea</st1:placename></st1:place> was still the
only game in town when it came to uptight, paranoid-aggressive regimes. But
then, Team <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">America</st1:place></st1:country-region>
star and Dear Leader, Kim Jong-il finally proved true to his name and died. For
a while, the eyes of the world lingered, but soon enough we became bored with
the choreographed weeping and decided the new Kim on the block was too chubby
to take seriously. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; mso-ansi-language: EN;"></span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Since
then, every despot, crackpot and whatnot in the Middle East and North Africa
has been doing their level best to take <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:country-region w:st="on">Korea</st1:country-region></st1:place>'s Public Enemy Number 1
title. As you'd expect for a country raised on a diet of UN sanctions and
enriched uranium, <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">North
Korea</st1:place></st1:country-region> has not taken its fall from grace too
well. There's been satellite launches, rocket tests, and even the old fail safe
of threatening to wipe out the “puppet group of traitors”, (<st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">South Korea</st1:place></st1:country-region> to
you and me). But to no avail, <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:country-region w:st="on">North
Korea</st1:country-region></st1:place> has slipped into obscurity. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; mso-ansi-language: EN;"></span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; mso-ansi-language: EN;">So now
this: grandstanding. Calling the Americans out like a drunk in a bar. The whole
thing is just tinged with desperation. What have they become? What's happened
to the nation that humbled the mighty <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Brazil</st1:place></st1:country-region> at the last World Cup? Whose
‘fans’ were paid Chinese actors; less any North Koreans use the trip as a
chance to flee the nation. A country governed by the most oppressive regime in
the world, but which still demonstrates its good sense of humour by describing
itself as “Democratic”. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; mso-ansi-language: EN;"></span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Well,
for one, there’s been a change of personnel at the top. And whilst DPRK is
still keeping it in the family, Kim Senior left some pretty big size 4 shoes to
fill. On his watch <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">North
Korea</st1:place></st1:country-region> wasn't just in the axis of evil, it <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">was</i> the bloody axis. But now, if you’re
an aspiring dictator or international terrorist and you want to get something
done, it isn’t the 38<sup>th</sup> Parallel you’ll head to, but the <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:placename w:st="on">Sahara</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st="on">Desert</st1:placetype></st1:place>.
<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; mso-ansi-language: EN;"></span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; mso-ansi-language: EN;">It’s
not that the new boss, Kim Jong-un, hasn’t tried hard enough to arrest this
decline. Far from it. The ‘Pyongyang Pretender’ has done everything short of
defecating on the American flag in order to get noticed. But then that’s
precisely the point. No doubt haunted by comparisons to Jordi Cryff, Kasper Schmeichel
and Calumn Best, Jong-un the youngun (as he’s affectionately known there), has
turned into something of a drama queen in a frantic attempt to avoid becoming
his father’s footnote in history. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; mso-ansi-language: EN;"></span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; mso-ansi-language: EN;">This is
not the North Korean way. By all means be a threat to world peace, that's what
you do best, but please try and be a little bit less showy with it. Remember
the quiet dignity of your secret nuclear weapons programme? Oh how we feared
you then, but we also respected you. You wouldn’t give anybody the time of day;
you just kept on denying you were building those nuclear weapons, even though
we all knew you really were. You’re young Kim, and you’re learning you’re
trade, I get that. Just don’t pimp yourselves out to the world’s press talking
about this ‘rocket’ or that ‘space satellite’. Leave that to the media whores
in <st1:city w:st="on">Tehran</st1:city>, Tel Aviv and <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Tripoli</st1:place></st1:city>. International interest is as
fleeting as it is fickle, you know this. Keep your head up and don’t stoop to
their level. After all you’re <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">North
Korea</st1:place></st1:country-region>, you’re better than that. Form is
temporary, but being the nemesis of those capitalist dogs in the West, well
that’s permanent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
SBDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07474818758094507873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8222449249089140637.post-26047420318560529012012-12-26T10:17:00.003-08:002012-12-26T10:17:49.801-08:00A Very 21st Century Proverb<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh748J5hztSvY09Odn9wxtgVmqSvySQDqZmllUucAM9I058HJCU16CWcZkq_fDVLM4liw2yGFXrJTinuiDdxcVTvp1h1n56ZcSBGrffww_GwFnl6HJvi3N9WtmZwRpDISu75A4JltD6n4S5/s1600/puddle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh748J5hztSvY09Odn9wxtgVmqSvySQDqZmllUucAM9I058HJCU16CWcZkq_fDVLM4liw2yGFXrJTinuiDdxcVTvp1h1n56ZcSBGrffww_GwFnl6HJvi3N9WtmZwRpDISu75A4JltD6n4S5/s1600/puddle.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest chances you don't own a
horse. In fact, maverick that I am, I'll go further and say chances are
you've never owned a horse, never will own a horse, and have never even
thought about the possibility of owning a horse. Since the invention of
the motorcar, the public's need for horses has vastly diminished. Those
horses which people kept on for recreational riding were largely sold
or eaten at the start of the recession, leaving most of the country's
equine stock in the hands of horse-nuts like Clare Balding and Zara
Whatsherface. The improbability of your horse-possession hopefully
established, I'd be bold enough to venture that the chances you've
neither flogged a dead one, looked a gift one in the mouth, or led one
to water but struggled to make it drink. Although the overarching
lessons we can learn from such adages remain true, there's no question
these proverbs are a bit outdated; and so perhaps it's a good thing that
the 21st Century has seemingly got its act together and invented a new
one.<br />
<br />
Around this time two-years ago the now exiled football pundit Andy
Gray said something infamous. On a damp, mid-week evening in Manchester,
Gray, debating the nominations for the Ballon d'Or prize, questioned
whether Barcelona and their superstar striker Lionel Messi could perform
on a "wet, Tuesday night in Stoke". To provide a bit of context, at
that time Stoke City were in a fairly respectable 13th position in the
English Premier League, renowned for their direct and physical playing
style and intimidating home ground. Barcelona on the other hand were in
the midst of a 16 game consecutive winning streak at the top of La Liga,
a position they would retain to finish as champions. Later that year
they would also win the Champions League, and a domestic cup win
completed an impressive treble. Lionel Messi, the player singled for
special treatment, would go on to score 51 goals and win the Ballon d'Or
- football's most prolific individual prize for the third consecutive
year (a record). It's fair to say that as queries go, this wasn't a
sensible one.<br />
<br />
A month later Gray and his monkey-resembling co-presenter Richard
Keys were sacked for "unacceptable behaviour", but it was the remark
which did more harm to their credibility than the sexist comments ever
could. So ridiculous was Gray's hypothetical nonsense that the phrase
began to take on a meaning of its own. Combining a healthy dose of
xenophobia with a misguided faith in the homegrown underdog, "could they
do it on a wet, Tuesday night in Stoke", came to signify a partisan
view - predominantly used ironically - in which good old fashioned
British traits like 'brute force', 'bravery' and 'blokishness' put pains
to pesky foreignisms like 'ability', or 'talent'. "He may well be the
best pianist the Vienna Philharmonic Orchestra has ever had", you could
imagine proponents shouting, "but could he do it on Last Night of the
Proms at the Royal Albert Hall when the crowd are impatiently waiting
for Land of Hope and Glory? I don't think so".<br />
<br />
The reasoning behind the 'Stoke question' is fundamentally perverse,
superficially comforting and incredibly arrogant. Its premise is that
people in other countries can only do the things we like better than us,
(in this case football), because they are abroad and everything is
easier abroad. If they came over here, the rationale goes, they'd get
found out. It turns our deficiencies into strengths which, in this
alternate reality, outweigh their skills. Never mind that we're
tactically naïve because we're physically stronger. So what that if
their technique is better than ours, have you seen how far our right
back can throw the ball?<br />
<br />
Recently the 'Stoke question' reared its ludicrous head again after
Lionel Messi broke another record, this one for most goals in a calendar
year (Messi is currently on 90). Understandably keen to make sure this
talent doesn't go elsewhere to ply his devastating trade, Barcelona
extended Messi's contract to 2018. This prompted pundit Adrian Dunphy to
call Messi a "bottler" and to ask "why he doesn't come to the Premier
League so we can find out if he can do it out of his comfort zone?"
which is a bit like calling Usain Bolt a chicken because he wont run in
your school sports day.<br />
<br />
Dunphy concluded his diatribe by asking if Messi was "scared of
Stoke". In the face of such a pointless question it's tempting to pose
another, that's equally easy to answer: "Could Stoke do it on a balmy
summer evening in Catalonia?"SBDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07474818758094507873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8222449249089140637.post-28556169532415279402012-09-25T08:55:00.003-07:002012-09-25T08:55:56.270-07:001000-odd words in the mind of a chugger I resent the word "chugger", I really do. I mean, it's trying to give us a bad name isn't it? Saying we're muggers for charity - that's not true. I've never mugged anybody and neither have most of the people I work with. Plus some people might get the wrong idea and think we're actually mugging the charities themselves, which nobody at Justice for Overweight Kenyan Elephants has ever done as far as I'm aware. Do you know what I think would be a better name? "Charmers". Like people that are "charming" in one sense, but also "charity armers" yeah? 'Cos that's what we do - we arm charities with cash. We give them the tools and then they use them to fix the world. Either "charmers" or "chegends". "Chegends" means - oh you can? Well okay, well done! <br />
<br />
Anyway the key to being a Charmer is to be charming. There's no point going up to somebody saying "Do you have a minute to talk about bowel cancer?" if you're looking down at your feet and generally acting miserable. People might think you <em>have</em> bowel cancer and that isn't the impression we want to give at all. What a good Charmer does is engage their Tardo- that's what we call the public - it's short for "target donor", but it's also funny because a lot of them are actually quite thick. Some of the charmers from Mencap, and Mind don't like the word "Tardo", they say it contradicts their message or something, but generally speaking they're all wankers anyway. <br />
<br />
Where was I? Right, engagement! Not to brag but I do know thing or two about this - I have the lowest blank rate of any mobile-urban-fundraising-agent I know. 99.9% of all Tardos are evasive. Rather than curing cancer or liberating Tibet they'd much rather spend their lunch breaks calculating the calorific intake of a Tesco meal deal or mentally composing risqué out of office emails they're never going to use. But that's Tardos for you and we can only work with what we're given. The key is to make them acknowledge your presence, once you've done that it's plain sailing down easy street all the way to the promised land. Of course Tardos know this. Despite being self-absorbed, self-obsessed, self-centred, selfish scum, Tardos are not self-delusional. They know that once they get into a battle of wits with a Charmer there's only going to be one winner, and it's the person wielding a clipboard. So naturally Tardos try to elude us. <br />
<br />
It's amazing how many Tardos think that pretending to be on the phone is all they have to do to avoid debating the planet's most pressing issues. In my younger days even I would sometimes fall for the old 'I'd love to but I'm in the middle of a phone call' look, combined with an apologetic shrug. "Excuse me sir", I'd ask "could you spare a minute to talk about muscular dystrophy?" but alas, he never could. "Morning madam, do you think literacy rates in Sub Saharan Africa are acceptable?" No response, maybe she did, maybe she didn't. Either way she wasn't going to interrupt her 'conversation' to tell me. "Alright squire, how do you sleep at night knowing that every year on average 146 stray dogs die of loneliness?" Not even a flicker - they were always busy on the phone. <br />
<br />
Gradually it dawned on me: was it really likely for around half of the people passing through the patch of high street I work - an area I call the N Zone, partly because N stands for Nigel, my name, partly because its directly outside Next - to be on the phone? I started to do some research, going to the same place on my days off dressed in civvies and counting phone users. Guess what? There were <em>significantly</em> fewer! <br />
This insight into the dark, callous heart of the Tardo revolutionised my tactics. If they were going to play dirty then so was I. If it was guerrilla warfare they wanted, I'd become King Kong. I began snatching phones from their owner's hands triumphantly screaming "Destiny Calling!" before exposing their dirty secret. Occasionally this would shame someone into a donation, but more often it drew unwanted attention from the police. <br />
<br />
So I refined my technique. As Tardos passed me I would also pretend to be on the phone, causing them to drop their guard and in many cases end their fictional conversations. 'He must be on a break' they'd think, visibly breathing a little easier and then at that exact moment I'd pounce - spinning round, looking the Tardo straight in the eye and enquiring "Do you know what percentage of the polar ice caps have melted since this time last year?" I should point out that I've worked as a Charmer for many different charities; it's never really been the causes that have attracted me, but the thrill of the chase. <br />
<br />
And "On a break"! Don't make me laugh, Charmers don't take breaks. We're like sharks, if we stop swimming we die. Except in our case it's not so much swimming, but charming. And we wouldn't actually die, but we would make less commission than we'd like. Oh and strictly speaking we do take breaks, but only to comply with EU working time directives and for most of that time were still thinking about charming. <br />
When I'm asked - as I regularly am - what my favourite part of my job is, I always smile and recall the Tardos that I've enjoyed a bit of verbal sparring with. They're the exception rather than the rule this lot, but when you come across one it's like finding an extra veggie sausage hiding under your free-range, corn-fed, organic poached egg at breakfast. They really do brighten up my day. <br />
<br />
You often find them in a rush. "I'm sorry, I'm in a rush" they'll say, as you ask them their views on lack of funding for Third World immunisation programmes. "You're in a rush?" I reply "well what a coincidence, so is the anopheles mosquito on its quest to spread Malaria in Africa". It's at this point the verbal sparrers like to make themselves known. "Listen", they say, "I've had a busy day and I'm not in the mood for being hassled on my lunch break." I anticipate this type of response and counter: "Well at least you can afford lunch unlike the billion plus people who have to survive on under $1 a day". <br />
<br />
Jousting like this can go back and forth, three, four sometimes even five times. Such is the speed and ferocity of our ripostes foreign tourists often think this is a scripted show put on for their benefit . It usually ends when the Tardo - intellectually defeated - calls me a parasitic, hypocritical or mercenary cunt and storms off. But deep down I know they don't really mean it and I like to think we've both shared a special moment.SBDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07474818758094507873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8222449249089140637.post-69958035997889904182012-07-11T03:54:00.001-07:002012-07-11T03:54:18.167-07:00All Artists Are LiarsIt doesn't speak well for us as a species that when the going gets
tough we take solace from the thought that somewhere out there, it's
going that little bit tougher for someone else. Lost your job? Well at
least you've got your health, unlike Mrs Jones whose just been struck
down with that rare, tropical flesh eating disease. Wife left you? Just
count yourself lucky it wasn't for your twin brother, citing you sexual
inadequacies as a reason, like the couple on this talk show I saw; that
kind of thing.<br />
<br />
These pearls of consolation are usually dispensed by our nearest and
dearest, who in times of trouble often prove themselves most skilled in
making light of our own problems whilst simultaneously making fun of
other people's. Occasionally though, for reasons that may include but
are not limited to: an absence of any friends or family; a strong
dislike and/or long running feud with all your friends and family; or an
outstanding phone bill which leads your network provider to disconnect
your phone making it very difficult to contact your friends and family,
people turn to the next best shoulders to cry on - the shoulders' of
artists.<br />
<br />
Artists, we think, are great. They're such tortured souls! Such
fragile creatures! They spend their lives sharing their innermost
thoughts, fears and desires with a cruel world. They've had their fair
share of hardships. Some of them even had to wait until they had died
before people they decided they were actually quite good after all. When
Van Gogh got dumped he didn't just mope around the house, he lopped his
own ear off. With an artist it's like your meeting Mrs Jones with the
flesh eating disease in the flesh. They exist to tell us mere mortals -
"yes your life may be a bitch, but mine's a mother fucker, which anyway
you want to look at it is worse".<br />
<br />
Take the King, Elvis Aaron Presley, when his baby left him, he was
forced to move into a hotel, literally named the Heartbreak Hotel, which
- and you're not going to believe this - was actually on the corner of a
Lonely Street! Elvis is reminding us we've no right to complain about
the breakdown of our own relationships until we are forced to move into
substandard accommodation situated on cruelly named roads. Or what about
poor John Winston Lennon?<br />
<br />
Although fronting the most successful act in musical history, the
demands of an unreasonable and unnamed girlfriend (I'm guessing Yoko),
meant he had to take up additional employment carrying out demeaning
dog's work. Clearly traumatised by the whole experience John doesn't go
into specifics, but it most likely involved the guarding of property and
the herding of sheep. No wonder he lost the ability to tell whether it
was morning or evening. We may moan about the demands of work ruining or
lives, but remember, we've got the EU Working Time Directive, the
Beatles didn't.<br />
<br />
There's only one problem... it's all lies. Elvis Presley was a man so
attractive that his entire bottom half had to be banned from American
television after scientists discovered that witnessing Memphis Flash's
gyrating hips was in fact 13 times more dangerous than staring directly
at a solar eclipse. The notion that a sentient being would leave "the
pelvis" of their own volition is not only far-fetched, it directly
contradicts the laws of physics. John Lennon meanwhile drove around in a
psychedelic Rolls Royce and was so disinclined to work in the
traditional sense, that when protesting the Vietnam War he decided a sit
in protest somewhere significant required too much stamina and opted
for a bed-in one in his hotel room instead. The war continued unabated.<br />
<br />
Start looking and you begin to realise just how widespread deception
of this sort is. The Rolling Stones claim they are perennially
dissatisfied despite the fact that the lead guitarist is allowed to
dress up fulltime like a pirate. Janis Joplin could have afforded her
own Mercedes Benz without praying for divine intervention and she knew
it. Dolly Parton hasn't put in a 9-5 shift since God knows when and as
for Bob Geldof - he may not like Mondays - but it's not like he's got to
get up and actually do anything on them, or indeed any other day of the
week for that matter.<br />
<br />
Opinion is split, but a school of thought exists which says
successful artists may have been people once. Some even believe they may
have contended with the same misfortunes as the rest of us. Nobody
however, not even the artists themselves, believe that they still do so
now. Hearing millionaires' sing of their money worries and heartthrobs'
lament their heartaches I can't shake the feeling we're the butt of a
joke. A joke told by imposters, who, like an alien race, visit our world
of pain for inspiration, ape or torments, turn them into 3 minute
catchy pop songs and then sell them back to us for the privilege.SBDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07474818758094507873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8222449249089140637.post-72925881757612658572012-06-14T02:40:00.003-07:002012-06-14T02:40:31.341-07:00It’s all over now baby blue<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_oZKMxDykpYpf9b4ZGW6hdcuapTgHQ9WkjyjThwg7jqWNxMeEQIrr_IlhwT689K75W-1NKUnG9CCgBSZm_IfziO2CDxtwIcfdF9ybxNjr1ZEr54zy0jYDAxMLFmLD1bhyphenhyphenHGZgiyRLI3ic/s1600/spots.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_oZKMxDykpYpf9b4ZGW6hdcuapTgHQ9WkjyjThwg7jqWNxMeEQIrr_IlhwT689K75W-1NKUnG9CCgBSZm_IfziO2CDxtwIcfdF9ybxNjr1ZEr54zy0jYDAxMLFmLD1bhyphenhyphenHGZgiyRLI3ic/s1600/spots.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB">"In order to show proper respect for your future,
you must sometimes show some insensitivity to your past”. Such were the words
and rationale of Roberto Goizueta, the former CEO of The Coca Cola Company, who
27 years ago changed the formula of the world’s most popular soft drink and launched
a new product, imaginatively named New Coke. At the time Goizueta and his team
were faced with a dilemma: the Pepsi challenge was in full flow and consumers
seemed receptive to the idea of switching from Coke to its sweeter, blue
packaged alternative. Fearing a loss of ascendency in the fizzy drinks duopoly the
company took decisive action and in April 1985, amid great fanfare, Coca Cola
was replaced by New Coke. 79 days and some 400,000 complaints later though, the
original drink returned. </span></div>
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<span>Fans of Cardiff City FC will be
hoping the backlash to the announcement of their own rebranding yields similar
results. From next season, the team nicknamed The Bluebirds will play their
home games in a red kit bearing a new club crest.<span> </span>The switch from red to blue has been enforced
as a condition of investment from Cardiff’s Malaysian owners, who feel the
changes will “help [Cardiff] develop its brand and to allow it to expand its
appeal to as wide an audience as possible”. Due to its association with
prosperity and good fortune, red is seen as more attractive colour in the Far
Eastern markets identified by the club as potentially lucrative. Although it
may sound like marketing spiel borrowed from HSBC’s “the world’s local bank”
campaign, Cardiff are adamant that they need to go along with this rebranding
exercise to<span> </span>“</span>safeguard the immediate and long-term future
of the club.”</div>
<div style="font-family: tahoma,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: tahoma,sans-serif;">
<span>It’s fair to say the reaction
from fans has been less than enthusiastic. In an effort to prevent their clubs
nickname – The Bluebirds - becoming a painful and ironic reminder of what once
was, supporters fought an unsuccessful campaign to keep Cardiff blue. Even for
those who have taken the pragmatic approach - arguing a financially secure
Cardiff City that plays in red is better than a potentially insolvent Cardiff City
that plays in blue – last week’s announcement can hardly be considered a
victory. Instead, it’s a rather depressing example of football’s financial
realities running roughshod over supporter sentiment and years of tradition. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: tahoma,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: tahoma,sans-serif;">
<span>Unlike Cardiff, in the two years
prior to the disastrous launch of New Coke, Coca Cola extensively canvassed its
customers’ opinions about the proposed change. Over 200,000 Americans
participated in taste tests, the results of which compelled Goziueta to boldly describe
the launch of New Coke as “the surest move ever made”. There problem was that
while Coca Cola had been making sure people liked the way their new drink
tasted, they had neglected to consider customers’ sentimental attachment to the
(old) brand. Unusually, the spectacular U-Turn that followed proved mutually
beneficial to all parties. So pleased were customers to get their much loved
product back, that they bought it in huge numbers, revatalising Coke’s
stagnating sales and consolidating the company at the top of the pop pyramid. Indeed
such was the speed with which Coca Cola snatched victory from the jaws of
defeat in the New Coke debacle, that many have speculated that the entire
episode was a marketing ploy from day one. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: tahoma,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: tahoma,sans-serif;">
<span>Sadly for Cardiff the world’s
conspiracy theorists have yet to devise a plausible scenario in which this
colorful saga turns out to be anything other than what it is: the epitome of
all that’s wrong with modern football. The Uruguayan writer Eduardo Galeano described
the game as “a <span style="color: #003300;">primordial
symbol of collective identity”. Alan Sugar said it’s </span>“the only business
in the world where it's embarrassing to make money”. In a roundabout way both
men made the same point: football is exceptional. It’s a game where fans’
emotional ties and tribal allegiances to clubs, their traditions, heritage and
yes, the colour in which they play, takes precedence over commercial activities
and the will to turn a greater profit. Except it isn’t. Football’s sacred cows
have been on auction to the highest bidder for some time now. Clubs have moved
cities, changed names, ceased to exist. The beautiful game has been
contaminated by ugly language:<span> </span>leveraged
buy-outs; administration; liquidation. For their owners, clubs are no longer symbols
of local pride; they are global brands, whose merchandising potential must be maximized
at all costs.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: tahoma,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: tahoma,sans-serif;">
<span><span></span>In 1985 fearing dissent among its customer
base Coca Cola relented to their will. In 2012, the course of action taken by
Cardiff’s owners shows, in black and white, that shirt sales in Asia are more
important than the views of fans from the city whose name the club bears. And when
the leopard’s spots are up for sale, it’s a sign that the tail must be well and
truly wagging the dog. </span></div>SBDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07474818758094507873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8222449249089140637.post-52089206647020496132012-05-04T04:40:00.004-07:002012-05-04T04:40:47.596-07:00The adverts on the bus go round and round<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">"We are in drought", Thames Water
latest add boldly declares, urging us to conserve water in two-foot high
letters from the side of a London bus. If you saw this add sheltering from
torrential rain in a bus stop as I did, you might think the water company had
developed a taste for irony. More likely, they're just the latest group to
have fallen foul of the great British weather. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">What interested me most about this advert though
wasn't the message; it was the medium. Buses, particularly London buses, seem
to be making a habit of acting as mobile billboards for some debatable
pronouncements lately. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">It started in 2008, when the British Humanist
Association, bankrolled by atheist in-chief Richard Dawkins, adorned the
capitals double-deckers with the words: “There’s probably no God, now stop
worrying and enjoy your life”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">The Christian Party, a minor political organisation
supporting, er, God, surprisingly took issue with such overt displays of
agnosticism and responded with a bus ad of their own: <span style="color: #1e1e1e;">"There
definitely is a God. So join The Christian Party and enjoy your life."</span></span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">This was all quite childish, and dare I say it,
pointless. After all it’s unlikely that many devout Christians suffered a
crisis of faith because the number 19 to Finsbury Park station told them to. Equally,
I doubt lots of uncompromising atheists found God on the strength of a poster plastered
onto the side of the N253. The phrase preaching to the converted has never
seemed so apt. I personally take solace from the fact that both sides agree we
should <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">definitely</i> be enjoying life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">But after gay rights group Stonewall emblazoned
1000 London busses in April with the seemingly innocuous phrase “Some people
are gay. Get over it!”, it all got a bit ugly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>A group known as The Core Issues trust, (one must assume ironically
since they seem to spend a great deal of their time taking offence at bus
advertisements), prepared a response. Their now infamous “Not Gay! Ex-Gay,
Post-Gay And Proud. Get Over it!” campaign, was pulled after TfL understandably
ruled it didn’t quite fit with their ethos of promoting “a tolerant and inclusive
London”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Whether it’s imploring us to vote in local
elections, persuading us that one sexual preference or belief system is better
than another, the humble bus is in danger of becoming an unwitting mouthpiece
for all those things they warn you not to talk about at dinner parties. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Personally, I’m thankful TfL stepped in when they
did. The morning commute is stressful enough without adding moral dilemmas to
the mix. Do I agree with the message on this bus? Do I object enough with the
message on this bus to not get on and hope the next one is more agreeable and
on time? Would this be an acceptable reason to arrive late to work? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Does getting on a bus sporting a controversial
message somehow signify consent for the viewpoint advertised, or is this whole
matter entirely inconsequential? These are just some of the many questions I
don’t want to have to negotiate first thing in the morning.</span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->SBDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07474818758094507873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8222449249089140637.post-84258095770328966782012-04-25T03:54:00.003-07:002012-04-25T03:54:45.200-07:00Singing the praises of music biopics<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">To my mind since 2005 there has already been four great musical biopics: <i>Walk The Line</i>, <i>Control</i>, <i>Ray</i> and <i>I’m Not There</i>. And now, in 2012 alone, it looks like we might see three more.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Following Friday’s release of <i>Marley</i>, the late, great reggae star joins fellow musicians Johnny Cash, Ian Curtis, Ray Charles and Bob Dylan in being immortalised by the big screen. It’s the type of company that must be making Dylan understandably nervous. But fear not Bob, as later in the year you’ll be making room for the decidedly still-living Paul Simon and James Murphy of LCD Soundsystem.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Starting with the other Bob though, it’s surprising a “definitive story” of Marley has taken such a long time to reach the big screen. Scotsman Kevin Macdonald is the third director to work on the project. First Martin Scorsese, well schooled in musically themed documentaries, (<i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #262626;">The Last Waltz</span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #262626;">, <i>Shine a Light</i>, <i>No Direction Home</i><span>), dropped out, then Jonathan Demme, whose previous credits include Talking Heads’ concert movie <i>Stop Making Sense</i> and a Neil Young documentary trilogy left the project citing creative differences with <i>Marley’s </i>producer Steve Bing.</span></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Macdonald’s ambition for <i>Marley</i> was to produce a “man behind the legend” flick. No easy task then, considering the man in question has been dead for 31 years, while his legend, healthy as ever, continues to accrue mystique. At times the film cannot resist the type of hero-worship Marley inspired in his fans. But insights into the artist’s troubles as a mixed-race boy growing up in black, rural Jamaica and a warts and all account of the singer’s infidelity, help tell the lesser-known, more human side, of his story. However, after close to two and half hours of thoroughly researched documentary footage, the “ordinary” Bob Marley felt as elusive as ever. This is not meant as a criticism of Macdonald’s filmmaking abilities, but merely recognition that his subject was an exceptional man who led an extraordinary life.</span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Not quite in Marley’s mythic class, although they both still have time on their sides, there’s a strange symmetry to the forthcoming LCD Soundsystem and Paul Simon films.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.shutupandplaythehits.com/" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank"><span lang="EN-US">Shut Up and Play The Hits</span></a><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #262626;"> documents LCD Soundsystem’s farewell gig in Madison Square Garden last April. Released at London’s Sundance Festival at the end of this month, the film’s trailer opens with an epitaph: </span>“<i>If it’s a funeral let’s have the best funeral ever</i>”. Throughout, a tired looking Murphy is questioned by a radio presenter over his decision to break up a band in their prime. LCD’s farewell has long been thought of as a defining moment, an end, or at least an evolution, of the hipster era they inadvertently helped usher in a decade earlier. As Brandon Stosuy, editor of US Magazine The Believer put it: <span lang="EN-US" style="color: #262626;">"How many upcoming 30-something novels can we expect to use LCD Soundsystem's final show as a metaphor for something?"</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.paulsimon.com/us/graceland25" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Under African Skies</a> (released in June), the story behind the creation of Paul Simon’s Graceland album, on the other hand is a film that promises to put the band back together, 25 years on, for one last hurrah. Again the trailer features a series of radio voiceovers, alluding to the album’s success and the social, political and racial controversy that surrounded its creation in Apartheid era South Africa.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-size: 13px;">Three releases in as many months seems ample evidence of the growing popularity of music biopics and documentaries. And that’s discounting, (due to matters of taste), the forthcoming Elton John film, rumoured to be starring Justin Timberlake and set during the singer’s obligatory rehab phase. If there's any justice that will be a straight to DVD release</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-size: 13px;"><i>.</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-size: 13px;"> Music journalism is derided in certain circles for it's irrelevance, “like dancing about architecture” as Elvis Costello put it, most likely, after a less than enthusiastic review. Undoubtedly the difficulty encountered when writing about sounds does tend to encourage a certain nonsensical vernacular - with bands usually described, like dogs at Cruft's, as the product of cross-breeding between two unrelated musical acts. Perhaps finally then, music biopics can put this archaism behind us and become the preferred medium for telling the story behind the stars; introducing fans of old music to new films and vice-versa.</span></span>SBDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07474818758094507873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8222449249089140637.post-75601993093144671902012-03-26T01:05:00.002-07:002012-03-26T01:05:31.078-07:00Tax doesn't have to be taxing, (if you're rich enough)<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-GB</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/> <w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/> <w:OverrideTableStyleHps/> <w:UseFELayout/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;"> “The tax man’s taken all my dough,” lamented Ray Davis in the Kinks’ Sunny Afternoon. “Let me tell you how it will be, there’s one for you, nineteen for me”, sang George Harrison, impersonating the Inland Revenue in the Beatles’ Taxman.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">The year was 1966 and the great and the good of British pop music were royally pissed off at the confiscatory nature of the Labour government’s tax code, which could see up to 83 percent of top-rate income claimed by HMRC. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">By the mid 1970s, many of them had decided that self-imposed exile was preferable to handing over roughly four fifths of their income to the state. The Rolling Stones went to comparatively libertarian France and wrote <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Exile on Main Street</i>. Cat Stevens jetted of to Brazil and worked on his seventh album <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Foreigner</i>. Even tartan-clad sleaze Rod Stewart jumped ship, going to America and realising <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Atlantic Crossing</i>. A trip we’ve got to thank for the nausea-inducing nonsense of his number one hit, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Sailing</i>. There’s never an iceberg when you need one. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">55 years later and they’re still at it. “I'm mortified to have to pay 50 percent tax!” said Adele last May. “While I use the NHS, I can't use public transport any more. Trains are always late, most state schools are shit, and I've gotta give you, like, four million quid – are you having a laugh? When I got my tax bill in from 19, I was ready to go and buy a gun and randomly open fire.”<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">A product of Britain’s only free, (i.e. taxpayer funded), school of performing arts, Adele’s attitude would seem to suggest it’s not just her sound that’s a throwback to the sixties, but also her sense of entitlement. Still, at least those comparisons to Britain’s most distinguished musicians will finally be deserved when she takes the same course of action they did and emigrates? Well, perhaps not. We can only presume this same thought must have played heavy on George Osborne's mind last week, as he announced a cut in the top rate of income tax in the budget, from 50 - 45 percent.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">From next April those earning over £150,000 a year will find themselves with an even greater net income. Good news for Adele, who’ll be rolling in it even deeper. That is if she’s not opted for “non-dom” status instead. Good news ostensibly for much of the Cabinet too. Though ministerial salary’s peak at the Prime Minister’s £142,500 a year, just below the £150,000 threshold, when earning’s from other sources are taken into account many of the Government front benches are thought to be direct beneficiaries of the cut. No one knows exactly how many or who, despite Ed Miliband’s “hands up if you're going to benefit from the tax cut", line of questioning in last week’s PMQs. But with this Government boasting the richest cabinet in history – 23 out of the 29 are millionaires – it’s likely to be the rule rather than the exception. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">Reducing the amount of taxes paid by the rich has long since been a consistent policy of the Conservative party. Indeed the 50 percent rate, which only came into being in 2010, was a belated Labour reaction to Conservative tax reform in the 80s, where the highest tax rate came down from 60 to 40 percent. But just because the changes are ideologically expedient doesn’t mean they are politically sensible. It’s a bit much to expect the public to buy into the “we’re all in this together” mantra, when money can be found to lower the Cabinet’s taxes, but not pay for things like the Educational Maintenance Allowance.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">Everyday we’re reminded the country is broke. It’s used as a justification for policies that nobody likes, or at least nobody admits to liking. Benefits have been cut, VAT has gone up, and people have to work longer to get their pensions, etc., etc. Any dissenting voices are hit with a caste-iron riposte: the budget deficit. So it’s all the more surprising to hear the announcement of a government policy that will <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">reduce</i> the Treasury’s takings. It makes you question whether George Osborne fully understands the implications of what he has done. All that hard work de-toxifying the Conservative brand and then a tax break for the country’s richest percentile. Pandering to the complaints of celebrity moaners like Adele, or Tracey, “I’m very seriously considering leaving Britain”, Emin seems a missed opportunity to jettison some deadwood. Worse it may even entice the likes of Piers Morgan to consider moving back. <o:p></o:p></span></div><!--EndFragment-->SBDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07474818758094507873noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8222449249089140637.post-5331423282359290002012-03-09T06:36:00.000-08:002012-03-09T06:36:54.415-08:00Will video kill it's viral star?<div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><style type="text/css">
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</style> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://media.2oceansvibe.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/stopKony2jpg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="194" src="http://media.2oceansvibe.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/stopKony2jpg.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Justifying his hatred for The Sound of Music a comedian once reasoned that any film which made you root for the Nazis can't be a good thing. </div><div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">I was reminded of this yesterday watching the viral sensation “Kony 2012” as my repulsion at the actions of a particularly despicable Ugandan warlord was offset slightly by my desire not to side with the cloying “anything is possible if we work together” sentiment of the American charity workers. </div><div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">For the uninitiated, (are there any left?), Kony 2012 is a campaign video made by the charity Invisible Children to raise the profile of Joseph Kony with the intention of bringing him to justice for the devastation he has wrought on many children in northern Uganda. It is a story of child soldiers, sex slaves, murder and mutilation. But as bleak and depressing as this subject matter is, the video is anything but, made in the style of the most emotive and uplifting of Americana.</div><div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Like a Richard Curtis directed Coldplay video, or an endless loop of the Rocky montages, there is something both kitsch and euphoric about Jason Russell’s short film. It’s clearly heavily influenced by the social media activism which helped Barack Obama take office in 2008. Indeed although it doesn’t feature in the half hour, Obama’s “yes we can” slogan and "audacity of hope" world-view is an accurate shorthand for Invisible Children’s unwaveringly confident ethos. And much like the Obama campaign, Kony 2012 worked. Yes Kony may still be roaming around central African states with impunity, but no longer with anonymity. Invisible Children's goal to make the world aware of Kony and the actions of the Lord Resistance Army has been an unmitigated success.</div><div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Lack of effectiveness is not a criticism you can level at Kony 2012. Lack of taste however, as subjective a minefield as this is, is another matter. Some people like Bob Geldof and Bono and Jerry Springer's final thoughts, others, myself included don't. Some people will find the narrator's "we're going to stop them" tone reassuring and defiant in the face of adversity. Others will think it condescending, preachy and naively idealistic; which was how I personally found the scene where the narrator explained to his son Gavin that Joseph Kony is the world's “worst” "bad guy" to be. </div><div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">And while I may know next to nothing about the situation in Uganda I'd imagine it's a little more complicated than Russell leads us to believe. A foreign policy that assumes everything will be okay if you put US troops on the ground wherever there is trouble has some pretty high profile contradictions of late. I did come to resent being addressing in the same manner as his primary school aged son. But then I'm an unashamed and unreconstructed cynic, I have a heart of stone and an aversion to anything that tries to connect with me on an emotional level. I'm sure nobody at Invisible Children is loosing any sleep because I feel they may have laid it on a bit thick in their 50 million plus viewed video.</div><div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">I do however feel there is a more wide ranging and legitimate criticism that can be made of Kony 2012. It is a criticism not exclusive to Invisible Children's video, but also one that applies to requests to join Facebook groups to show support for various causes, or e-petition invitations to "<a href="http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/13085">save our hedgehogs</a>", “<a href="http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/11399">ban goldfish bowls</a>”, or my personal favourite “d<a href="http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/2843">on't listen to idiots who sign e-petitions</a>”. </div><div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">All of the above, including Kony 2012, could, according to the OED no less, be categorised as instances of clicktivism: “the use of social media and other online methods to promote a cause.” In a 2010 New Yorker article "<a href="http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2010/10/04/101004fa_fact_gladwell?currentPage=1">Small Change: Why the revolution will not be tweeted</a>" Malcolm Gladwell summed up why he felt the plaudits for the revolutionary capacity of social media were undeserved. Facebook activism he wrote "succeeds not by motivating people to make a real sacrifice but by motivating them to do the things that people do when they are not motivated enough to make a real sacrifice." The idea that signing an e-petition, joining a Facebook group or sharing the Kony 2012 video is a poor substitute for genuine activism will hardly come as a shock to those who participate in online campaigns. But Gladwell's argument that social media is "effective at increasing participation—by lessening the level of motivation that participation requires" seems to lead to a more extreme conclusion. Could clicktivism actually be counterproductive? </div><div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">No doubt Invisible Children and their millions of followers want to put an end to the violence in Uganda. Who wouldn't? But following the charity's particular call to arms to "sign a pledge and show your support" and "above all share the movie online" is a course of action that may assuage millions of consciences, placating the need for further action and achieving...what? Popularising the video ever further, getting more people to sign the pledge. Will this create a critical mass driving intervention up the political agenda? Or is it simply adding to a open but self-referential feedback loop? If the course of action Invisible Children advocated required greater motivation - lobbying political representatives for example or donating to charities on the ground in Uganda - no doubt less people would participate, but perhaps the overall real-world impact would be greater. </div><div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Kony 2012 is a marketing tool and a slick one at that. It's succeeded in putting a long ignored issue at the forefront of people's minds. And it's flouted every convention of successful viral videos in doing so - i.e. it's longer than 1 minute and it doesn't feature a single kitten trying to drink from the tap. It's makers have also done more for their admirable cause than I ever will. But just because you support the cause doesn't mean you have to agree with the course they have taken to popularise it. </div>SBDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07474818758094507873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8222449249089140637.post-47256679168266153122012-02-28T04:36:00.000-08:002012-02-28T04:36:15.357-08:00Web of deceit: the internet has killed the celebrity death hoax<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: tahoma,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><b><span lang="EN-GB"></span></b>I was travelling in Peru when the news broke, enjoying myself at a beachside bar. All of a sudden the music stopped and over the microphone a sombre-toned barmaid announced the sad news of George Michael’s passing. A respectful minute or so of silence passed and then the sound system started up, screeching Michael Jackson’s <i>Bad</i>. After a further minute or so the music cut out again and said barmaid returned to the microphone to clarify the “sad news of Michael Jackson’s passing”. We stared at each blankly, unsure what was going on, until an Australian friend asked with genuine concern “how is George Michael?”</div><span lang="EN-GB"></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: tahoma,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><br />
<span lang="EN-GB"></span><span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: tahoma,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB">He was fine of course, unlike poor Michael, but for the first time in my life I found myself worrying about the former <i>Wham</i> singer’s well being. I hoped for instance he was finally getting the upper hand in his battle with cannabis addiction. A year later when he ploughed his car into the Snappy Snaps in Hampstead, I felt a palpable relief that he escaped the crash unscathed. The premonitory effect the mishap had on me brought to mind the celebrity death hoaxes of my schooldays.</span><span> I<i> </i>recall one such playground rumour that Derrick Errol Evans, better known as Mr Motivator, had expired. The details are a bit sketchy, perhaps that throbbing vein in his head and finally given him the aneurism it had always threatened. Or maybe a naked flame had come into contact with his Lycra spandex. Either way, for the remainder of the day I was certain that sometime between first break and lunch we'd lost a giant of the televised workout world. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: tahoma,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: tahoma,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><b><span>The Art of lying</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: tahoma,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><b><span><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: tahoma,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span>As morally dubious a practice as spreading these rumours was, it's hard not to admire the artistry and effort which went into them. First of all the inventor had to pick a celebrity big enough that everybody knew who they were, but not so big that it would seem far-fetched and unbefitting of their stature for them to die on a school day. Then, because this was the pre-internet halcyon age, the rumour had to be started by actually telling somebody <i>face-to-face</i>. Granted that somebody was more often than not a wide-eyed and gullible 10 year-old, but even so you had to be prepared for even the most rudimentary interrogation. How did they die for instance? When? How do you know? </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: tahoma,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: tahoma,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span>But it’s not like that anymore. A recent online Eddie Murphy death hoax started on the site Global Associated News gained so much momentum that his brother Charles was forced to respond - "It's really astounding how low people will go for attention. Eddie Murphy is fine!" And this was despite the fact that the website contains the quite unambiguous disclaimer that: "This story is 100% fake! This is an entertainment website, and this is a totally fake article based on zero truth and is a complete work of fiction for entertainment purposes". </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: tahoma,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: tahoma,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span>Mind you, at least a fatal Swiss snowboarding accident involving the star of Beverley Hills cop is possible, if not exactly plausible. Last week, the comedian Michael Legge started a rumour, (I believe twitterstorm is now the preferred term), that fictional character Gregg Jevin had died - proving you don't even have to exist for <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2012/02/24/rip-gregg-jevin-twitter_n_1298635.html" target="_blank">rumours of your demise to be greatly exaggerated</a>. Type the word "is" into Google and the search engine prompts you to ask "Is David Guetta dead?” proving both the staying power of internet pranks and the stupidity of people who believe them. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: tahoma,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: tahoma,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><b><span>Gotcha!</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: tahoma,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><b><span><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: tahoma,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span>The virtual playground that is the internet has made killing off the stars easier than ever before. As the famous 71 character tweet goes </span><span>‘a lie is halfway round the world before the truth has got its boots on’. But the spate of celebicide that has seen Charlie Sheen, Owen Wilson and Adam Sandler go to that great rehab centre in the sky is much less believable than the pranks of yesteryear, especially since they were all said to have died in Swiss snowboarding accidents. Such is the lack of imagination in modern hoaxes they have left me mourning the loss of an art form rather than any celebrity. But maybe I’m just nostalgic for a simpler time, when people remember where they were when they first heard the news of Noel Edmonds’ tragic helicopter crash. <span> </span></span></div><div class="yj6qo ajU"><div class="ajR" data-tooltip="Show trimmed content" id=":154" role="button" tabindex="0"><img class="ajT" src="https://mail.google.com/mail/images/cleardot.gif" /></div></div>SBDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07474818758094507873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8222449249089140637.post-74185022937448660852012-02-18T03:08:00.001-08:002012-02-18T03:10:13.397-08:00Why we won’t go to war with Argentina and the solution to world peace<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi37ImhjQlwsEg9SkiJVcSnDcKrW45qtYoKSMWINRmecafUSUxaMfKHFIuKBZK4itm6d_UqoEOstvAZDqTBc7WKGLM6l1oF9JMBNGZfC2WZaD1jLiwXMhPmu-t6g_4Evls1H-FdlgDM_jkY/s1600/Falkland.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="227" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi37ImhjQlwsEg9SkiJVcSnDcKrW45qtYoKSMWINRmecafUSUxaMfKHFIuKBZK4itm6d_UqoEOstvAZDqTBc7WKGLM6l1oF9JMBNGZfC2WZaD1jLiwXMhPmu-t6g_4Evls1H-FdlgDM_jkY/s320/Falkland.gif" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">The Royal Navy dispatched £1 billion worth of its newest hardware. In response the Argentines renamed their football league and made friends with Sean Penn. The end result is conditions in the South Atlantic that are even frostier than usual.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span lang="EN-GB">Yes, in the spirit of 80s revivals that have been sweeping the nation – from sky high unemployment to inner city insurrections – it looks like a second Falklands war, “30 years on, this time it’s territorial (same as last time)” could be next. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB">Democracy rules OK! </span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span lang="EN-GB">Except it won’t. Because unlike then, Argentina is now a democracy and democracies don’t fight each other. Or so goes the democratic peace theory. You’ve probably heard it before, spouted with barely concealed smugness by some insufferable pub bore. We may have even met. If you’re lucky you’ll have heard an even smugger bore cite, with great triumphalism, some apparent exceptions. The Greek Wars of the 5<sup>th</sup> century BC for instance, the American War of Independence or even the American Civil War. At this juncture the first bore may have responded with the rationale that slaveholding states such as ancient Greece and the US Confederacy can hardly be considered democratic and that pre 1832 Britain was essentially a monarchy with an incredibly restricted franchise. He probably even looked your way to see if you were impressed, not realising you were long gone. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span lang="EN-GB">Nevertheless it’s true and it’s a truth that irks liberals - who believe it is too often used as justification for self-serving regime change in oil rich nations - and fans of war, who feel it makes any interesting match-ups nigh on impossible. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB">I’m lovin’ it</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span lang="EN-GB">If further evidence is needed that Prince William and his pals are going to be absolutely fine on the Islas Malvinas, just look at McDonald’s. The Golden Arches theory of conflict prevention, as proposed by Thomas L Friedman, states that no two countries that have a McDonald’s have ever fought against each other in a war. Granted NATO briefly dropped a few bombs on Yugoslavia in 1999, but as they didn’t land on the McDonald’s itself it seems a shame to throw away a perfectly good theory. In 1982 Argentina didn’t have any McDonald’s and look what happened. But since 1986`when they joined the 123 strong international McFamily they’ve not had any bother. If only they’d opened one four years earlier it would have saved us all the trouble. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB">Those pesky Iranians</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span lang="EN-GB">So as with everything else, don’t believe the hype. The chances of Argentina challenging us to a war, thumb or otherwise, would require the refutation of two flimsy and overly simplistic political science theories. And that ain’t gonna happen. If you do feel the need to fret over future international conflicts, I’d suggest Iran as a country more likely to confirm your worst fears. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span lang="EN-GB">First of and shock horror, it’s not a democracy. Equally predictably it doesn’t have a single McDonald’s. Then there’s the small matter of the alleged nuclear weapons programme and president who says things like Israel should be “wiped off the face of the earth”. Indeed if profiting from conflicts which threaten the future of mankind is your thing, bookmakers In Trade are giving odds with a 62% likelihood that either the USA or Israel will execute an air strike against Iran before the end of the year. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span lang="EN-GB">For all those out there who’d rather give peace a chance, there is a solution: give Iran nuclear weapons. Admittedly there aren’t too many political commentators out there advocating this view, but they are overlooking the crucial fact that bar a couple of months handbags between India and Pakistan in 1999, (which I’m once again discounting), there has never been a war between two nuclear powers. As long as we keep hold of ours we’re bound to be safe. The rest of the Middle East I’m not so sure. So there’s the answer to world peace: proliferation. Of democracy. Of Nukes. And of Maccy D’s. There, that wasn’t that hard was it?</span></div>SBDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07474818758094507873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8222449249089140637.post-4517254675606766642012-02-16T04:22:00.000-08:002012-02-16T04:22:03.956-08:00Revelling in Rivalry<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPlT6tshjZTOphvtzXCwbRTB9-zdCsbgKWTpBoM2J-mtEBp_vRMHQF9FnOaZxZIngxVEBuwkYoybuMAZdq7acvZYtauMSnylNyywvyQwhO8H_hTpCF2nnERYVwPJX_iDwQ9xCHwkuLCAT6/s1600/old+firm.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPlT6tshjZTOphvtzXCwbRTB9-zdCsbgKWTpBoM2J-mtEBp_vRMHQF9FnOaZxZIngxVEBuwkYoybuMAZdq7acvZYtauMSnylNyywvyQwhO8H_hTpCF2nnERYVwPJX_iDwQ9xCHwkuLCAT6/s1600/old+firm.jpeg" /></a></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-GB">Amid speculation about the possible demise of their arch-rivals Rangers, it must have seemed strange for Glasgow Celtic’s chief executive Peter Lawwell to be fielding questions on whether his own club could survive without their Old Firm counterparts. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-GB">After all, surely any mishap befalling your oldest and bitterest foe can only be good news. Especially when that mishap takes the shape of a 10 point deduction and makes the small matter of your 43<sup>rd</sup> Scottish league title a mere formality. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-GB">“We’ll survive very well”, the Celtic chief executive responded. Adding with just a hint of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">schadenfreude</i>, “We’re going to be in better shape than them if their problems cause greater difficulties.”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-GB">Lawwell’s reasoning was based on practical considerations, the level of Celtic’s debt for instance and the viability of Scottish football minus one of its two behemoths. But his answers won’t have reassured everybody. The last Scottish team outside of the Old Firm to win the title were Alex Ferguson’s Aberdeen in 1985. In a league rightly criticised for its lack of competiveness, switching from duopoly to a monopoly will leave a spectator sport about as interesting as its board game namesake. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB">Trouble down by the riverside</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-GB">But let’s set aside the enthralling world of Scottish football for a minute. The issue of Rangers’ difficulties and their potential impact on Celtic highlight an important dynamic present in any rivalry: that both sides define themselves antithetically to the other. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-GB">‘Rivals’ is a Latin word in origin, derived from <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">rivalis</i> meaning ‘persons dwelling on opposite sides of the river’. The symmetry in this image of two rival camps across a river is quite apt. Both camps may think they have the best river bank, or the greenest grass, or whatever people squabbled about in Roman times. No doubt they hate each other, but what made them noteworthy and set them apart from the numerous other riverside encampments of olden times was the competition between the two. Like it or not - and the answer for anyone in Glasgow is bound to be not - to outside observers the animosity between Rangers and Celtic is viewed similarly. Like two sides of the same Old Firm coin it’s impossible to conceive of one without the other. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB">The good old days of the Cold War</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-GB">The early 1990s saw the termination of one of the world’s greatest rivalries. Since 1945 Western democracies led by the United States and the communist states of the Eastern Bloc led by the Soviet Union hadn’t seen eye to eye on such trivialities as whether communism or capitalism was the best ideology to live by. Being a contest between two diametrically opposing worldviews encompassing the majority of the planet’s population, as opposed to say two football teams, the Cold War didn’t manifest itself in the same way as other rivalries.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead of a derby, both sides participated in a nuclear arms race. Bragging rights focused less on famous FA Cup victories and more on first moon-landings. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-GB">But despite having been concluded for over 20 years you can still find some of the victors lamenting its loss. George W Bush mused: “It was us versus them, and it was clear who ‘the them’ were.” And while it may be surprising to hear such a renowned peace-lover and intellectual express nostalgia for a state of heightened military tensions in a grammatically incorrect manner, Bush is not alone in his views. He’s not even alone among former US presidents. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whilst in office in 1993 Clinton joked “Gosh I miss the Cold War” as conflicts in Somalia, Haiti and Bosnia brought home how unpredictable a post-Soviet world would be. Winning the Cold War had eradicated the Soviet Union, but left a void that needed to be filled and a question to be answered: who will be our rivals now? </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB">No star-crossed lovers they</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-GB">As successive details of Rangers’ worsening financial situation have been leaked to the press, Celtic choruses of “we’re having a party when Rangers die” have grown louder. These may be two football clubs alike in dignity, but they’re hardly a pair of star-crossed lovers. But if Celtic get there way and it ends in tragedy for Rangers, what then? Perhaps more than any other, the identities of these two clubs are counterbalanced; each one validates the other. And if you think nobody would miss the unsavoury scenes and sectarian songs that accompany Celtic and Rangers whenever they clash, just remember the former US presidents who pine for a day when the threat of nuclear war loomed over us all. </span></div>SBDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07474818758094507873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8222449249089140637.post-31720243748647014132011-10-20T07:37:00.000-07:002011-10-20T07:37:41.723-07:00The Band Wagon Reunion<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><img src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/video_object.png" style="background-color: #b2b2b2; " class="BLOGGER-object-element tr_noresize tr_placeholder" id="ieooui" data-original-id="ieooui" /> <style>
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<span style="font-family: "Californian FB";">"The day after Man City win the European Cup"- that was bass player Mani's prediction for the day when an eager public could expect to see a reformation of one of the great Nineties groups yet to jump on the reunion band wagon. United-supporting Mani probably thought his quip, made back in 2006 following City's modest 15th place finish in the Premier League and two years before Abu Dhabi investment transformed the club, was the sporting equivalent of declaring "when hell freezes over". Well times, as we know, have changed; maybe he jumped before he was pushed.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Californian FB";">The Stone Roses' reunion, initially two concerts in Heaton Park, Manchester next June that will be followed by a world tour, grew to seem increasingly likely, not just as the fortunes of Manchester City improved, but also as a growing number of their peers succumbed to the temptation of one last swansong and, let's face it, one last payday. Mancunian compatriots The Happy Mondays did it in 2004, as did James in 2007, when Tim Booth rejoined the band's original line-up. Blur finally set aside their differences in 2008 only to be rewarded with a headline slot at the following year's Glastonbury, as were Pulp, the band who struck lucky when they replaced the unavailable Stone Roses for the festival in 1995, who reformed in May and made a critically acclaimed cameo at Worthy Farm this June.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Californian FB";">Going further back, the list of rock and roll second comings is pretty illustrious: Led Zeppelin, the Police, the Sex Pistols, the Velvet Underground. But given that all those reunions ended up being temporary and not a single studio album was recorded in the brief hiatus when all those hatchets were buried, are we foolish to get excited by the latest get-togethers, and what is the effect of this phenomenon on artists trying to make a name for themselves for the first time?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Californian FB";">Simon Reynolds, author of <em><span style="font-family: "Californian FB";"><a href="http://www.newstatesman.com/books/2011/06/pop-culture-reynolds-rock-past">Retromania: Pop Culture's Addiction to Its Own Past</a></span></em>, is clearly concerned about the potentially stifling impact that the "bands reunited" trend may have on creativity: "There is something peculiar, even eerie, about pop's vulnerability to its own history ... When we listen back to the early 21st century, will we hear anything that defines the epoch?" he writes. It's easy to see why, for many festival and concert organisers, booking acts made famous in days gone by is a safer option. The secret to the success of reunions like those of Blur and Pulp is that they chose to play a limited number of high profile concerts, thus maximising their appeal to their pre-existing and newly acquired fan bases. The limited edition approach to the comeback if you like. And for many fans that is the appeal: tick a box you didn't think you'd be able to, say you've seen Jimmy Page play live, never mind that he's in his sixties, not this thirties. This, though, clearly leaves the returning artists with a limited shelf-life - once the novelty of their reappearance has worn off, so will their ability to fill stadiums. Indeed, in the modern era it is only Take That who have managed to maintain their popularity in both their pre and post break-up eras, and that largely is due to the fact that they aren't still churning out the same old tunes they were 15 years ago.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Californian FB";">Whether the Stone Roses reunion endures long enough for them to make a long overdue appearance at Michael Eavis's festival in 2013 (there is no Glastonbury next year) remains to be seen. But if it does it'll be hard to shake the feeling that the crowd is participating in the mass re-enactment of a musical era long since passed. Although there will always be those über-nostalgics on hand to tell you it's not as good second time around. Now, what odds on Oasis headlining Glastonbury 2020?</span>SBDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07474818758094507873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8222449249089140637.post-29950374936720997282011-09-30T08:57:00.000-07:002011-09-30T08:57:24.261-07:00Ladies and gentleman, please stand for the National Embarrassment<div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB","serif";">Billy Connolly once joked that the dirge-like pace of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">God Save the Queen</i> would cause the British Olympic team to be lapped during an Olympic opening ceremony. Whilst Lord Coe and co are sure to have more important matters on their mind in the build up to London 2012, it’s hard to deny that there is an element of truth in the comedian’s assessment. Its lyrics make no mention of the country it supposedly celebrates until the fifth verse, (which is never sung) and the only surprise in racing driver Lewis Hamilton’s criticism of the anthem’s length this July, with the tune still ringing in his ears following a grand prix win in Hockenheim, was that he felt it was too short and not too long. Yes, the general consensus seems to be that as far as national anthems go, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">God Save the Queen</i> is pretty bad.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB","serif";"><u> </u></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB","serif";">But it wasn’t always this way. The inaugural performance of the world’s first ever national anthem took place in London in 1745. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">God Save The Queen</i> went on to become, in the words of Nicholas Smith author of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Stories of Great National Songs</i>, “the most potent national anthem in existence” and was adopted at one time or another as the national song of countries including; Germany, Russia and Switzerland. But over time each of these countries abandoned the tune in favour of something less derivative, much like teenagers turn their back on embarrassing and short-lived musical crazes. Great Britain however, along with poor Liechtenstein, who continues to emulate an older relative who has long since ceased to be cool, are yet to grow out of it.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB","serif";"><u> </u></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB","serif";">Let’s face it, on the modern international stage any glory the anthem may have once had, has long since faded. Compared to the call to arms of <a href="http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&safe=off&client=firefox-a&hs=wmc&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&sa=X&ei=IqB_ToCpBaLU0QXz9vy_CQ&ved=0CBgQvwUoAQ&q=La+Marseillaise&spell=1"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; text-decoration: none;">La Marseillaise</span></i></a><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">, God Save the Queen </i>is toothless<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">. </i>Compared to two merged songs and five incorporated languages which comprise post-Apartheid South Africa’s hymn of reconciliation, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Nkosi Sikelel' iAfrika</i>, it is characterless. Not that we have to look abroad to feel inferior about our anthem. The English among us have the pleasure of being doubly discriminated. Unsatisfied with mere international embarrassment, lucky England gets the dubious honour of using <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">God Save the Queen</i> when competing domestically against the other home nations in most sports. And while en masse singings of Wales’s <span class="st"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Hen Wlad Fy Nhadau </i></span>and Scotland’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Flower of Scotland</i>, raise the hairs on the back of your neck, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">God Save the Queen </i>induces barely stifled yawns. No wonder English football fans are famed for their booing of foreign anthems, they’re clearly hoping to provoke a retaliation of catcalls that will spare them the humiliation of listening to another mind-numbing, uninterrupted rendition of their own.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB","serif";">Maybe though there is a degree of appropriateness about our national anthem. Perhaps like governments, countries get the anthem they deserve. After all, we are British, it is not just our climate which is temperate it is our temperaments too. Keep calm and carry on, that’s what we do isn’t it? Every now and then the wind of change threatens to blow, but it always dies down. We’re hardly going to decide to ditch a ditty we’ve had for over 250 years just because it promotes an antiquated social order that few of us believe in now are we? No, we should take inspiration from the stiff upper lips of our millionaire footballers, so proud that they are visibly moved to muteness as possibly the worst national anthem on the face of the planet is played out. Why, it almost brings a tear to your eye.</span></div>SBDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07474818758094507873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8222449249089140637.post-83350776510573753962011-09-09T04:53:00.000-07:002011-09-09T04:53:43.347-07:00Beware of the clap!<style>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVFeZdMoW2diYXNwB5VizNjmowGFPhUjyt_9zJomFuvL9pL-DQku3RrI6l_F1Q60sc_0C52VrKC3ngeuEIYYupJOSWXhkVqUJdXX1iJ90Y4F4BfB55udXj5wOyx6Oiwc4KctvMKKqatAO2/s1600/the_clap.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVFeZdMoW2diYXNwB5VizNjmowGFPhUjyt_9zJomFuvL9pL-DQku3RrI6l_F1Q60sc_0C52VrKC3ngeuEIYYupJOSWXhkVqUJdXX1iJ90Y4F4BfB55udXj5wOyx6Oiwc4KctvMKKqatAO2/s320/the_clap.jpg" width="284" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">If you've ever been on a plane then you'll know just how stupid people can be, because inevitably, as the wheels touch down on the runway for landing, there will be some jokers who will feel the need to clap. This is something I've never understood. If it's a joke, then it's a done to death man walked into a bar gag, and if the applause is genuine, well for me, it's undeserved. When I board a plane the very least, the absolute bare minimum, I expect is for that plane to arrive in it's chosen destination, ideally with all parties still alive and kicking on board. I may hope for a nice inflight meal, a comfortable journey, an undisturbed sleep, but I understand that these things want them as I might, are all a bonus. But, and call me old fashioned, avoiding death by crash landing into the sea from 35,000 ft., isn't. Especially since we are constantly being told that more people die each year from severe nut allergies, or squirrel attack than in aeroplane accidents. Rightly or wrongly, I've come to believe that air travel is only a fraction behind being carried inside a kangaroo's pouch as the safest mode of transport. So the only logical conclusion to make is that the people who clap are idiots. And apparently they are not the only ones, there's a lot of clapping idiots all over the world. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Take for instance Wednesday’s Republican Party presidential debate, shown live on TV throughout America and filmed live in front of a studio audience. Clearly there were quite a lot of idiots in the audience, who decided the best way to show their appreciation for Texas Governor Rick Perry was to clap his execution record, which currently stands at 234 not out, of which 59% are ethnic minorities incidentally. Not bad for an anti-abortionist who’s gone on record to say "I believe the right choice is life". </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><u></u></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The fallout of the ‘applause for executions’ incident, which has generated a fair few column inches on both sides of the Atlantic, proved two things. One that, shock-horror, the death penalty is an emotive subject and two, the simple act of clapping is a slightly more perilous business than we often think. You don’t need to look hard for examples closer to home. This Saturday will mark a close to the BBC Proms season a series of classical concerts at which the act of banging your hands together in appreciation has never been so heavily scrutinised. For the blissfully ignorant clapping at classical concerts is bad, so bad in fact, that classical music aficionados have felt the need to lay down a few rules, the long of short of which are clap only in the right places or fuck off. Martin Cullingford, the deputy editor of Gramaphone Magazine suggested concert goers “</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri;">don’t clap unless there is spontaneous uproarious applause, in which case it is safe to do so”, advice which if followed by everyone in the audience would be a sure-fire way to guarantee complete silence. Cullingford’s approach however seems positively laid back though, when compared to that of Jonathan Lennie, editor of Time Out magazine and author of a hilarious open letter, (read rant), to </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri;">"Loud Clapping Man Who Sits Behind Me At Concerts". Lennie’s main concern? People who begin to clap too soon after the music finish. God, Guantanamo Bay isn’t good enough for those scum. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri;">But while the powers that be are trying to do everything they can to keep the proles out of classical concerts by outlawing clapping, in football they’re encouraging them to actually clap more often. The minute’s silence is now all but dead as a way for football fans to commemorate their tragedies and deaths, replaced with the utterly depressing minute’s applause. We are told it is because silence is too somber and depressing whereas the celebratory nature of applause is a more fitting way to commemorate sporting greats like Sir Bobby Robson. And in certain instances, like the example given, this may be true, but surely not on occasions like that in 2008 when Manchester United marked the 50<sup>th</sup> anniversary of the Munich air disaster with the sound of clapping instead of silence, much to the dismay of many of their fans. There is something incredibly powerful and poignant when thousands of people in a football stadium stand in complete silence that is lost in the minute’s applause. Of course, the elephant in the room is that all too often the silence isn’t silent and one idiot shouting some obscenity or another marks the occasion in an entirely inappropriate way. But whereas fans of classical music are being urged not to clap for fear they do it in the wrong place detracting from the performance, football fans are being told they have to because the game’s bigwigs don’t believe they have the self-control to stay quiet for 60 seconds when it matters. What next, two-minutes applause on Armistice Day? </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri;">Whether it’s to show support for the death penalty, enjoyment at a concert or appreciation for fallen heroes, applause, or the lack of it, looses all meaning when we are told when and when not to do it. Of course, good luck explain that concept to Bono a man who actually gets off on the idea that the claps of himself and his audience actually send innocent Africans to their deaths. <span> </span><span> </span></span></div>SBDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07474818758094507873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8222449249089140637.post-69252885751585228942011-09-05T11:25:00.000-07:002011-09-05T16:05:19.315-07:00Just Cook Will You…<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA0P-oSpjrKCKIagM1vz3YzRwJxnuk-bUGHb-gKNzDN_ml066_lmAmUiuYic6DQ57eu1KR-zhNyWPLHCSuU0ejKxnnFAcTwzcVkBKpBKtuWwOb-VbVE0p8GjT2BX_1NEdlBZ0AmwKyuYGI/s1600/fat+jamie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA0P-oSpjrKCKIagM1vz3YzRwJxnuk-bUGHb-gKNzDN_ml066_lmAmUiuYic6DQ57eu1KR-zhNyWPLHCSuU0ejKxnnFAcTwzcVkBKpBKtuWwOb-VbVE0p8GjT2BX_1NEdlBZ0AmwKyuYGI/s1600/fat+jamie.jpg" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Californian FB","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">“James Martin is on a mission to transform the standard of food at Scarborough General Hospital, North Yorkshire.” On the face of it, this sentence might sound like good news. Unwittingly, you're probably thinking ‘Great, it's about time somebody sorted out the food in that place’, but then, slowly, it'll dawn on you just who James Martin is, at which point you're probably likely to emit a dejected sigh, followed by the most obscene phrase in the English language, a phrase which contains no less than three C words...Celebrity...Chef...Campaign. Then you'll probably call James Martin a cunt. <br />
<br />
No longer content to teach an ignorant nation the frankly vital skills of cake decoration or how best to season a risotto, today's television chefs are following in the footsteps of yesterday's pop stars, by (deep breath), <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">trying to save the world</i>. Like everything else in the universe, it all started with Jamie Oliver. Once content to drive his scooter round the English countryside blind drunk after gorging on an over inflated sense of self-importance and first pressing extra virgin olive oil, Oliver now gets his kicks hanging around the UN building in New York pestering Ban Ki Moon for a “global movement to make obesity a human rights issue”. And on that, isn't it about time that someone told Jamie Oliver he's a little bit overweight himself? I mean we all like to have a go at fat kids in Rotherham, but if you spend your entire working life guzzling Sainsbury's taste the difference confectionary, ostensibly bought for your ridiculously named children, despite the fact they never even get near them then aren’t you a bit of a hypocrite. Talk about the sous vide calling the soufflé ramekins black.<br />
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Yes truly TV chefs are the protest singers of our time, although in the case of James Martin he's clearly lip-synching to a cover, as anyone with a TV set and even the vaguest knowledge of popular culture knows that Cordon-Bleu mad scientist Heston Blumenthal already solved the issue of hospital food earlier this year, right after he dealt with the slightly more pressing matter of the quality of snacks served at motorway service stations. And therein lies the problem: there are clearly not enough evils in this world to give one each to our talented band of celebrity chefs to solve. Of course, it doesn't help when busy bodies like Oliver and Hugh Fearnley-Whatshisface aren't practicing what they preach and are clearly being greedy. Not content with bagsying all the problems in the world's oceans with his <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Fish Fight</i>, apparently some ingenious pescatarian preservation scheme based upon the premise that we should NOT kill all the living creatures in the seas; HFW branched out to poultry with his latest venture, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Chicken Out</i>, a campaign designed to give chickens bigger houses and access to superfast broadband launched because - and I quote - "I feel so strongly about the welfare of our chickens”. However, this is still small-fry compared to Oliver, who, completely unperturbed by such trifling matters as a lack of any expertise or indeed natural ability, single-handedly revolutionised the national curriculum in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Jamie's Dream School.</i> According to leaked reports his next project will see the phonetically challenged Oliver team up with everyone's favourite lowly billionaire Bono, in which the pair successfully achieve the writing off of all third world debt and all in good time for Oliver's duet with Deila Smith on the Norwich City FA Cup song, conveniently released in the lead up to the 2014 election, at which he'll be standing in place of Nick Clegg. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: "Californian FB","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
You have to feel sorry for the old school, those TV chefs being left behind who foolishly believe that the barometer by which they will be judged is the number of Michelin Stars awarded and not the number of fashionable causes they can lend their name too. Should we expect to see Raymond Blanc attempting to cut teen pregnancy rates in 2011? Ainslie Harriot spearheading an inner city literacy campaign and that really young looking one from Ready Steady Cook advocating the decriminalization of heroin as the most effective method of reducing the harmful impact of drugs in society? Almost certainly, yes. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: "Californian FB","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Once upon a time, before he rode his high-horse onto the bandwagon, James Martin used to make fun of people who tried to make a difference, specifically those of the environmental variety. In 2009 he wrote this in the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Daily Mail</i> about the cyclists who used to frequent the roads near his countryside house: “God, I hate those cyclists. Every last herbal tea-drinking, Harriet Harman-voting one of them”. Now sadly, instead of ridiculing those who try and change this world for the better, James has joined their ranks. Such a shame. </span></div>SBDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07474818758094507873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8222449249089140637.post-59740840969617931202011-06-02T13:26:00.001-07:002011-06-02T13:26:30.030-07:00Accents and Attitudes...<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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</style> <![endif]--> <div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Number one singles, high-profile romances and a regular slot on one of Britain’s most watched TV shows, arguably all of these would have been eclipsed by Cheryl Cole’s starring role on the judging panel of the US version of the X Factor. Yet, following Fox Broadcasting’s decision to relieve Cole of her duties after just two weeks in the job, we now know this is not to be. Cole’s meteoric rise to stardom in this country was no doubt helped by her well-known looks, but it was her North east roots and yes accent, which won her the tabloid accolade “Geordie Princess”. Following a well-trodden path of British superstars unable to “crack” America, (Oasis, Robbie Williams), Cole’s dismissal is noteworthy because it was her domestically-lauded Newcastle twang, apparently incomprehensible to American ears, which allegedly proved her undoing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">In the United Kingdom surveys have consistently found that British ears find the Geordie accent desirable. Last April a study carried out by call-centre operator Sitel found that 2000 people rated the Geordie speakers the most likely to put them in a good mood and similar research undertaken by Travelodge, Cool Brands and the Aziz Corporation found Geordie to be the “sexiest” “coolest” and “most attractive” accent in England respectively. Clearly though this is a reputation it is not afforded across the pond. “When people say an accent is beautiful, ugly, charming or whatever, they are reacting to what they know about the area where that accent comes from” says renowned sociolinguist Peter Trudgill. Without this social context as a reference Americans do not have the favourable reaction to Cole’s voice that British people do. But not only do they not like Geordie, they can’t, by all accounts, understand it: “The further away an accent comes from the more difficult it is to understand” Trudgill continues. Accents only become more comprehensible through exposure and having rarely heard someone from Newcastle speak before, American TV audiences cannot be blamed for their inability to understand it. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Cole’s bad luck aside, the fortunes of those with regional accents pursuing a career in the media are certainly better now than they were 60 years ago. In 1941, Yorkshire born Wilfred Pickles became the first person with a regional accent to read the BBC’s national news broadcast. The reaction this precipitated from the London based media was derisory to say the least, as it marked a break from the BBC’s earlier policy of favouring received-pronunciation, now frequently dubbed “BBC English”. Thankfully a great deal of progress has been made since this time; so much in fact that Dr Joanna Thornborrow, from Cardiff University’s Centre for Language and Communication Research,</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB","serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">believes “It is now advantageous to have a regional accent in the media”. Thornborrow notes that when she plays broadcasts from the 40s and 50s to her students it sounds as alien to them as Wilfred Pickles must have to the metropolitan elite of his day: “They are not used to it, they feel they are not the target audience”. It is no doubt a desire on behalf of the BBC and other broadcasters for their audience to identify with presenters that has led to a greater proliferation of regional voices, what Thornborrow terms “the democratisation of the media”. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Work in this field however is far from complete. “Some progress has been made. There are now people reading the news with Scottish, Irish and other regional accents” says Peter Trudgill, “but you still do not get people in positions of broadcasting eminence with strong regional accents”. Trudgill also identifies a hierarchy among regional accents which means that “some accents have a better chance than others”. He feels West Midlands and rural speakers are particularly underrepresented and Dr Thornborrow thinks more marked regional accents are permitted only in certain, less serious, genres. This point is corroborated by Mark Thompson, Director General of the BBC who last year admitted that work was still needed to ensure “more variety”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Cole’s downfall was in fact pre-empted. When her American appointment was first announced in early May, numerous commentators questioned whether Cole would “tone down” her Newcastle dialect, which in turn prompted her empathic denial “'Never! I would be crucified where I'm from if I tried to change my accent.” And though this may seem like cutting your nose of to spite your face, Trudgill was unsurprised, “the bond between regional identity and accent is strong” and fewer regions demonstrate that strength better than the North East. Should Cole have compromised and carefully enunciated each word she spoke on air there’s no doubting she’d have been vilified in her hometown. As it stands she can now return home prematurely but with reputation intact.</span></div>SBDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07474818758094507873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8222449249089140637.post-9014878131690359652011-05-26T00:05:00.000-07:002011-05-26T00:06:46.323-07:00Ask a silly question….<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihDPUX_suSatCtPYSF3nXtg2UpTmZ699OH_NtbCjwdZoGKq36rLxRFD7aCPKZeJXenHkevqXWKRfCTiWa6CL9XpYvgeWWtxPR3KjhKnJxDY0M6YbCUzyqqsAFFEPyQssKrpCkxhLe9H1q_/s1600/anaconda.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihDPUX_suSatCtPYSF3nXtg2UpTmZ699OH_NtbCjwdZoGKq36rLxRFD7aCPKZeJXenHkevqXWKRfCTiWa6CL9XpYvgeWWtxPR3KjhKnJxDY0M6YbCUzyqqsAFFEPyQssKrpCkxhLe9H1q_/s1600/anaconda.jpeg" /></a></div><br />
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB","serif"; font-size: 11pt;">The interrupted and infamous question almost asked by John Hemmings in the House of Commons wasn’t the only query raised in parliament this Monday. As the speaker reprimanded the Lib Dem MP for “flouting” a court order, the repercussions of which could drastically change media privacy law in this country, a matter of equal importance raised by Life Peer Lord Jay of Ewelme was finally resolved: the fate of Albert, the stuffed anaconda who resides in the Foreign and Commonwealth Office library. </span><br />
<br />
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB","serif"; font-size: 11pt;">Lord Jay, who has sat in the Lord’s since 2006, submitted a written question to the house on the 9<sup>th</sup> May, concerning the Government’s plans: “for the future of the stuffed anaconda in the Foreign and Commonwealth Office library”. And just shy of two, no doubt sleepless, weeks later, the Government responded and it turned out the anaconda had a name. The Minister for the State, Foreign and Commonwealth Office, Lord Howell of Guildford replied: </span><br />
<br />
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB","serif"; font-size: 11pt;">“</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB","serif"; font-size: 11pt;">Albert, the 20-foot long stuffed anaconda, has graced the Foreign and Commonwealth Office (FCO) library for over a century. He remains proudly in place, just as he did throughout the noble Lord's distinguished career in the FCO, and continues to be held in great affection by FCO staff. We have no plans for Albert other than to clean and stuff him from time to time.”</span><br />
<br />
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB","serif"; font-size: 11pt;">If his intention was to ask the strangest question heard in parliament however, Lord Jay has some competition. Last July, Labour MP John Spellar, who by some twist of fate is now </span><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB","serif"; font-size: 11pt;">Shadow Minister of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs, asked the Secretary of State for Health: “whether he plans to ban the sale of <i><span style="font-family: "Californian FB","serif";">(a)</span></i> tea and coffee with sugar and <i><span style="font-family: "Californian FB","serif";">(b)</span></i> cheddar cheese sandwiches in hospitals”. The Government responded tersely and somewhat bemusedly, “no”. <a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=8222449249089140637&postID=901487813169035965" name="60723w10.html_wqn10"></a>Former Conservative MP David Amess also famously fell foul of the House, when in 1997 he asked a question in the Commons about “cake”, the fictional drug which featured in satirists Chris Morris’s spoof documentary <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Brass Eye</i>. </span><br />
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB","serif"; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><br />
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB","serif"; font-size: 11pt;">Yet all of these enquiries pale into normality when compared to the eccentric questioning of the European Commission President from former </span><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB","serif"; font-size: 11pt;">Dutch Liberal MEP, Florus Wijsenbeek. In 1998, Mr Wijsenbeek apparently concerned by the fate of shoes washed ashore, enquired whether the commission was aware that: “in a single winter 68 left shoes and 39 right shoes were washed up on the Dutch island of Texel and 63 left and 93 right shoes were washed up on the Shetland Islands?”. He continued: “Does the Commission consider this a fair distribution and is it prepared to provide a fair allocation of shoes between each member state?” Somewhat disappointingly, though not altogether surprisingly, the Commission’s response was negative. Undeterred, Mr Wijsenbeek’s other claim to fame is being the subject of an officiall reprimanded by the College of Quaestors, the body responsible for maintaining discipline amongst MEPs, for repeatedly riding his by through the parliament building in Brussels. </span>SBDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07474818758094507873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8222449249089140637.post-37952333150557848952011-05-16T04:33:00.000-07:002011-05-16T04:34:52.234-07:00Azerbaijwhat?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvDhlRAEUeUQupb1V7mp8FuptjR4dvfzptTexZRbi3sv7VwJANbwDFT5nrLCRsyQUYZvVLlPWSafo3ALkzWeS7hdK2okPyiUDOi9dtOxEcLAtjTyA5S5boIJiyjaNamuXAZpBNRWzW6EiX/s1600/Father+Ted.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvDhlRAEUeUQupb1V7mp8FuptjR4dvfzptTexZRbi3sv7VwJANbwDFT5nrLCRsyQUYZvVLlPWSafo3ALkzWeS7hdK2okPyiUDOi9dtOxEcLAtjTyA5S5boIJiyjaNamuXAZpBNRWzW6EiX/s320/Father+Ted.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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</style> <![endif]--> <div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Picture the scene: after months of diplomacy and backroom bartering two countries finally commence historic talks designed to settle deep-seated disputes which have festered between them for years. A historic accord is drawn up, with the more powerful of the countries offering a generous international aid package, an exclusive trade agreement and military backing in return for political support. Signing appears imminent. The world’s media waits with baited breath in anticipation of this momentous occasion but then, at the 11<sup>th</sup> hour, talks break down and the smaller of the two countries storms out of negotiations citing the failure to agree a guarantee of maximum points at all future Eurovision Song Contests as their reason. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Tactical voting at the Eurovision song contest is well documented and criticising it is something of a national pastime. The Scandinavians vote for other Scandinavians, the Balkan states vote for other Balkan states and the Eastern bloc countries...well you get the picture. The point being that seldom does anybody actually vote for the UK. Most people accept this flawed scoring system as part and parcel of Eurovision’s charm. The 3 hour long glorified Karaoke contest, which is broadcast live in 25 countries in Europe alone, is ultimately rendered pointless by a voting system that even Robert Mugabe would class as suspect. Terry Wogan used to find the predictability of scoring worryingly irritating and the programme used to be worth watching for his mock indignation alone. The former Lib Dem MP Richard Younger-Ross took such affront to Eurovision’s lax attitude to the tactical voting ‘problem’, that in 2007 he put forward an Early Day Motion to debate the subject in the House of Commons. Sadly, the EDM was ignored so one can only speculate whether he would have championed the Alternative Vote as a fairer solution, in which second-rate singers would have to work harder for our 12 points. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Though I’m very much of the opinion that those who are bothered by tactical voting at Eurovision should get out more, I am intrigued by why it happens in the first place. Much has been made recently of Lord Triesmen’s allegations of FIFA corruption with regards to 2018 World Cup bid and although only the foolishly naive believe a word of what Sepp Blatter and co say, you can at least understand, if not condone, why corruption would exist in deciding the host for football’s most prestigious and financially lucrative tournament. But Eurovision, really who cares? Cyprus has awarded Greece maximum points in every Eurovision song context since 1996. Are we to assume that if they gave their twelve points elsewhere, Greece would let the island fall under Turkish control? Serbia also tends to give maximum points to Bosnia and Herzegovina, but I doubt that many in Sarajevo will see that as fair compensation for Milosovic’s genocide. The idea that countries would place any significance on who gives them what points in a contest dominated by the cruise ship crooners of tomorrow is baffling. Of course there are those that argue that suspicious voting patterns are not evidence of collusion, but simply the similar music tastes shared between countries with strong cultural and linguistic relationships. However this argument looses credibility when one actually listens to the songs in question and determines that: a) A large proportion of songs are actually sung in English – b) An even larger proportion are, to the ears of any human being, indisputably awful. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">But perhaps I am being too harsh, especially considering the origins of the contest, which was set up in the 1950s with the intention of bringing the nations of a war-torn Europe together. Broadcast live to a worldwide audience of over 160 million people Eurovision remains a much loved tradition throughout the continent, watched by people of all ages, who for one night a year put aside their nationalistic, ethnic and political differences to come together and say joyfully, in any number of languages, “this is rubbish!”. And given that Europe hasn’t been engulfed in a major war since, Eurovision has proved itself to be a success, presuming of course you consider nonsensical lyrics set to infuriating tunes designed to appeal to the lowest common denominator to be the lesser of the two evils? </span></div>SBDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07474818758094507873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8222449249089140637.post-41764346096692028982011-05-06T13:47:00.000-07:002011-05-06T13:49:59.777-07:00Suspicious Minds<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQU0XPkrKVUIFLmhhyphenhyphen5RJbDzjGMZEmF3oEDdwWmBy4yjCUSO4ocNlvdf-DJA4fzfRU7JgG-ptCOspCcAmQTB9qZybOpDcEkSJITN7B06Gz1MJhmmjaQNG73Ud-bO6jzXXwDmEwHEfjmrTN/s1600/Fox.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg40N_SKiSgObIA9y4p85_EgbwsgSg09ZvYnhlwD7KHaULNaezKfT9I-cjDq4zU3QtVDPf3Apc7mbmAOSsbzBZHdb6YrfLYXjEfvJqD2eD8sU5qudUSCEbyHyp6wdH9x5_Ro_NqElMGgvCl/s1600/Fox.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg40N_SKiSgObIA9y4p85_EgbwsgSg09ZvYnhlwD7KHaULNaezKfT9I-cjDq4zU3QtVDPf3Apc7mbmAOSsbzBZHdb6YrfLYXjEfvJqD2eD8sU5qudUSCEbyHyp6wdH9x5_Ro_NqElMGgvCl/s320/Fox.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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</style> <![endif]--> <div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Dan Brown has a lot to answer for. Not only does he owe me 138 minutes of my life back following a misguided cinema trip to see a Spanish dubbed version of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Angels and Demons</i>, we also have his own imitable brand of “conspiracy fiction” to thank for bringing unverifiable paranoia back into mainstream political debate.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><u> </u></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">In the days before <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The</i> <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Da Vinci Code</i>, people who believed that world was really controlled by an international secret society and that aliens worked the checkouts at their local Tesco at least had the good graces to keep their psychosis to themselves. Nowadays they get a guest slot on <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Newsnight</i>. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Osama Bin Laden’s death, (or “death”, depending on the viewpoint you subscribe to), is the modern conspiracy theorists wet dream. The lack of body due to his burial at sea, the White House’s decision not to release photographs and the discrepancies between the current and initial account of what happened in Abbottabad, has convinced some that all is not what it seems with the anti-terror event of the year. Add to this the fact that the September the 11<sup>th</sup> attacks are themselves the subject of much debate in conspiratorial circles and Obama is still thought by some to be ruling America illegally, by virtue of his supposed foreign birth and it’s easy to see how those of a far-fetched disposition have joined the imaginary dots of their own making. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">The most striking thing about the Bin Laden and indeed most other conspiracies is the way they spectacularly contradict each other. Depending on which know it all you listen to, Bin Laden was either already dead prior to the raid, is still alive somewhere after it, or he was killed, but only in a bid to improve Obama’s chances of re-election. Not that such inconsistencies concern the fantasists. After all, another feature of conspiracy theories is that their advocates will never, regardless of facts, admit to them being bogus. Anything which appears to disprove the theory is dismissed as simply smoke and mirrors designed to put people off the scent of what’s really going on. Even if America decided to reveal pictures of the deceased Bin Laden, those arguing that he is actually still alive would, unflinchingly, trot out the old:“well that’s what they want you to think” line. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The more evidence produced to the contrary, the more ingenious ways conspirators reinvent their own arguments in order to make them fit. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Despite these misgivings, or perhaps because of them, there’s a certain appeal to conspiracy theories. If nothing else being part of a group that shuns conventional wisdom in favour of a “truth” known only to a few, is a bit of an ego boost. After all, which would you rather be: the gullible drones spoon fed lies by the New World Order, or the enlightened minority bravely fighting a clandestine elite? Tough call, I know. And though I genuinely believe that a sceptical outlook is no bad thing, beware; it’s a slippery slope from being inquisitive to doubting whether Elvis really did land on the moon. </span></div>SBDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07474818758094507873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8222449249089140637.post-69322298029707314082011-04-13T14:07:00.001-07:002011-04-13T14:07:43.931-07:00Does anyone actually (not) care about the Royal Wedding?<link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CJO%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><o:smarttagtype name="City" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype name="place" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><style>
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<div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";"><o:p></o:p>If pushed, I’d describe myself as morally and politically opposed to the monarchy. I say if pushed because whilst I fundamentally disagree with an institution premised upon the hereditary rule of one family, especially one which believe they have a divine right to govern, I know that in actuality they are little more than a glorified (literally) tax-dodging tourist attraction. Although they do retain certain prerogative powers, we all know these are purely ceremonial and that their main role now is simply to give us something to put on stamps. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">I feel the need to clarify this because like many people, with the Royal wedding looming, I frequently find myself engaging in conversations about ‘Kate and Will’s Big Day’. Given my views then, why is it that my assertions that I don’t care are ringing hollow? <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">In November, when William and Kate’s engagement was announced, Royalists and tea-towel manufacturers throughout the country must have jumped for joy. Since that time though, the Royal wedding drum has been banged with ever increasing ferocity and attendance at the 24 hour media circus has been made compulsory. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">Faced with such overblown and sickening displays of celebration, as people rejoiced in the union of two complete strangers, many, (myself included), took solace in cynicism, declaring to anyone that would listen that we didn’t care about the Royal wedding. But therein lies the point: if people were really so uninterested in the Royal wedding, would they really feel the need to tell everyone? And I suppose that goes for writing blogs too. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">Take Republic for instance, the group “campaigning for a democratic alternative to the monarchy”. The <st1:city w:st="on">London</st1:city> borough of <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Camden</st1:place></st1:city> recently cancelled a Republic organised “Not the Royal Wedding” street party set to take place on the 29<sup>th</sup> April. As stated at the outset, my views could be seen as broadly in agreement with Republic’s ethos, the main difference being, I’d rather get the day off work than not. In fact, if the Royal family could guarantee a minimum of one death and/or marriage a year which could be taken as public holiday I’d quite happily reconsider my position on them altogether. Furthermore, not only is an anti-monarchy protest which takes place on a public holiday due to the Royal wedding ironic, it also calls to mind Shakespeare’s famous line from Hamlet: “The Lady doth protest too much, methinks ”. After all considering we don’t hear much about Republic throughout the rest of the year and as their cleverly named “I’m not a Royal wedding mug” mug, sold on their website indicates, perhaps the Windsor/Middleton marriage isn’t such a bad day for them as they are making out. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">If I’m being brutally honest my dislike for the Royal wedding doesn’t really have anything to do with my views on the Royal family, more my dislike of those who so vociferously like them; and even this is born out of a fear that we are more alike than I’d care to admit. Aside from the day off, another indisputably good thing about the wedding itself, is that it will put an end to the insufferable Royal wedding build up. Finally we can stop engaging in small talk about Kate’s poor choice of cake decorator or Prince Phillip’s insistence that the father of the bride should foot the entire bill, and get back to the serious business of debating the day’s weather. <o:p></o:p></span></div>SBDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07474818758094507873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8222449249089140637.post-79441386683875853912011-03-21T17:23:00.001-07:002011-03-21T17:25:07.002-07:00Propaganda 2.0<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CJO%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><o:smarttagtype name="City" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype name="place" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype name="country-region" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><style>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiroaiIjM02xK_hptTLa-Eith-18elp1N4PWFipjkXDCNw5N5X7y8UKxh9KX_S1vUK9mDMlXLcUrSPCr4fA-uwRL_5Mrzlo4mXTsXCyvrsi95LkAXdbsmotxyGtt9tPpLM3yRaMGHMJ5l7g/s1600/Propaganda.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiroaiIjM02xK_hptTLa-Eith-18elp1N4PWFipjkXDCNw5N5X7y8UKxh9KX_S1vUK9mDMlXLcUrSPCr4fA-uwRL_5Mrzlo4mXTsXCyvrsi95LkAXdbsmotxyGtt9tPpLM3yRaMGHMJ5l7g/s320/Propaganda.jpg" width="244" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">In James Cameron’s 3D epic <i>Avatar</i>, the <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">US</st1:place></st1:country-region> government uses remotely operated clones to infiltrate and attempt to colonise an alien race. Despite great critical acclaim and estimating takings of over $2.7bn worldwide, it was famously overlooked in the 2009 Oscars, with the Academy Awards for Best Picture and Best Director instead going to <i>The</i> <i>Hurt Locker</i>, a gritty and realistic take on the trails and tribulations of a bomb disposal unit in the <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:country-region w:st="on">Iraq</st1:country-region></st1:place> war. If, as many commentators speculated at the time, <i>Avatar</i> was snubbed because its allegorical science fiction take on American activities in the Middle East was deemed too far-fetched and outlandish when compared with the understated authenticity of <i>The Hurt Locker</i>, then perhaps now is a good time for the Academy to consider reviewing their decision. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">News that the Pentagon is developing an “online persona management service” or, in plain English, the capability for a single person to operate a number of fake social media accounts in order to counteract anti-American sentiment online, brings Cameron’s film back to mind. Quite why it requires a multi-million dollar contract to create what is essentially a number of phony Facebook accounts is unclear, however the US’s desire to “counter enemy propaganda” (Bill Speaks US Central Command), is nothing new. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">Scarcely a conflict goes by where the battle for hearts and minds cliché isn’t trotted out. The only difference now being, that this battleground is increasingly found online. According to the plans tabled, military controlled social networking accounts, or “sock puppets” as they have disparagingly come to be known, will not be permitted to be used on English language websites, instead focusing on Arabic, Farsi, Urdu and Pashto speaking audiences. Not only does this demonstrate an uncomfortable double-standard in the implementation of this programme, it is also reveals the complexity involved in modern 21<sup>st</sup> century propaganda. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">Government agents may wistfully look back to days gone by, when the spreading of a particular political agenda, was an altogether much simpler task. Taking <st1:city w:st="on">Hollywood</st1:city> again as an inspiration, Jean Jacques Annaud’s 2001 film, <i>Enemy At The Gates</i>, tells the real life story of a duel fought between a German and Russian sniper at the battle of <st1:place w:st="on">Stalingrad</st1:place>. As shown in the film however, the story of this duel soon becomes more important than the actual exploits of the snipers. As a young political officer played by Joseph Fiennes puts it: “We must tell magnificent stories, stories that extol sacrifice, bravery, courage. We must give them hope, pride, a desire to fight. We must make them believe in the victory. Yes, we need make examples, yes, but examples to follow. What we need, are heroes”<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">Despite being taken to task by a number of historians on questions of its accuracy, (ironically there is a school of thought who argue the German sniper was fabricated by Soviet intelligence at the time, to boost the legend of their own man); <i>Enemy At The Gates</i> reveals the relative ease with which certain tactical embellishments became the accepted version of the truth. Indeed, it begs the question why back then they didn’t just make it all up, after all, its not as if people had access to the internet to verify the information they were being told. Not like now. It certainly seems paradoxical that whilst technological advances have encouraged the creation of ever-more sophisticated propaganda, they have simultaneously made it easier for the more investigative-minded to expose misinformation. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">All that was needed to conscript people into the army for the First World War was a picture of a man with a big moustache pointing at them. Ninety years later however, the government had to produce a widely criticised 19 page document, much of it cut and paste, to attempt to engender public support for the <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Iraq</st1:place></st1:country-region> war, and that hardly worked did it? Gone are the days when you could simply give your enemy a wooden horse large enough to fit an army inside and be thanked for your generosity. For better or worse people are naturally much more sceptical these days and technology has played a major role in aiding that scepticism. The slogan “Keep Calm and Carry On”, was used to keep peoples’ spirits up throughout the dark days of the Second World War, I’d imagine that its impact would have been somewhat lessened had it been encountered trending on Twitter. What’s more an unforeseen impact in the ascendency of the internet has been to give the lesser power in any dispute the opportunity to gain an equal share of voice. Although it may be embarrassing for the <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:country-region w:st="on">United States</st1:country-region></st1:place> to have so far been unable to capture Osama Bin Laden, this embarrassment is compounded by the fact that Bin Laden is able to publicise his avoidance of capture by periodically uploading <i>Youtube</i> videos. With this in mind you can’t help but feeling a sense of futility about this latest propaganda venture and I doubt it will take long for the first “sock puppet” to be outed as the fictional construct of some IT graduate from the Midwest, probably not too long after he ends his first status update with the word “lol”.<o:p></o:p></span></div><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CJO%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><o:smarttagtype name="City" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype name="place" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype name="country-region" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><style>
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<div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>SBDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07474818758094507873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8222449249089140637.post-29551724879960798582011-03-16T17:07:00.001-07:002011-03-17T05:56:08.121-07:00There’s Plenty More Fish in the Net<link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CJO%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><style>
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<div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">How enlightened we are, how open-minded and unprejudiced: we can now have civilised debates about the pros and cons of political self-determination for Arab sates that may want to elect fundamental religious leaders. We can positively urge gay sportsmen (and women), to come out publically and consign yet one more taboo to the annals of history. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">We can even write Jedi under ‘religion’ on the census form without fear of oppression from The Federation. Surely though our greatest achievement in the pursuit of total tolerance is the end of persecution to a group who previously had carried the greatest of social stigma; I am of course referring to those who use internet dating sites. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">According to researchers at Stanford University, online dating is increasingly replacing more traditional methods as the preferred medium for singles to meet new people; and let’s be honest, they should know. The correlation is simple: as dating sites become more popular, the embarrassment associated with using them decreases.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">For those interested in surfing for love online, the water has never been safer. As with any good swimming pool however, (I’m not sure this metaphor has any more legs), there are a few simple rules it’s worth noting. And ‘no heavy petting’ isn’t one of them. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 36pt;"><b><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">1) Don’t Shoot The Messenger<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">Whereas conventional romances tend to start with a chat up line or conversation, internet liaisons begin with a message. Think of a prospective date like a prospective job: good ones are likely to be inundated with applications. But whilst a generic cutting letter won’t cut it, the schoolyard rules of not trying too hard, (or at least not being seen to), still apply. Try and find the middle ground between standing out from the crowd and portraying yourself as the life and soul of every party going. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">Oh and anyone who describes themselves as crazy, out of the ordinary, chirpy or kooky is, more often than not, likely to be an acronym of the aforementioned words. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">2)<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span><b><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">Manage Your Expectations<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">Romance isn’t dead. But just because knights in shining armour and damsels in distress, have so far avoided extinction, doesn’t mean they’re ten a penny either. As a bare minimum you should at least try and meet the person you’ve been infatuating over once in person. This way you can rule out the possibility that it’s all just been an elaborate hoax co-ordinated from you housemate’s laptop. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">3)<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span><b><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">Keep the Sabbath <o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">Saturday night is good for a lot of things: dancing according to the film <i>Saturday Night Fever</i>; fighting, according to Elton John and dancing again according to Whigfield. Under no circumstances however should a Saturday night be used as the trialling ground for a first date. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">Have a bad date on a week night and what have you lost really? The latest plot instalment from a soap so uninspiring that when you come to catch-up the day after, it already feels like you’re watching a repeat? Lose a Saturday however and you’ve lost the week’s silver lining and pot of gold all in one and what’s more you won’t get another stab at it for the next 7 days. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">4)<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span><b><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">Pick Your Venue Wisely <o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">Know a great little pub so jam packed full of character you half expect Mickey Mouse to be glass collecting? Put your favourite song on the jukebox on as you walk in do they? Rustle you up a quick snack even though they’ve officially stopped serving will they? <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">Well do yourself a favour then and keep schtum. That is unless you want to walk in there and find that girl who didn’t laugh at any of your jokes and made disparaging comments about your favourite shirt drinking in there with the gym instructor. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">5)<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span><b><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">Beware The Difficult Second Date<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">A difficult one this: you’ve successfully negotiated the first four steps, so successfully in fact that you’ve even managed to secure a second date. Problems over? Well, not always. Often the anxiety associated with a first date causes the parties involved to outperform. All that nervous energy manifests itself into a flurry of well-pitched compliments, witty one liners and fascinating anecdotes. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">Come the inevitable reunion however, it quickly becomes clear that you’ve set the bar too high. Neither of you are able to reproduce the repartee you made seem so effortless first time around. You’re unable to divert attention from the awkward silences that ensue with the story about that time you led a group of German tourists on an impromptu conga line round the library, because you already told it first time round. Quite simply you’ve overplayed you hand and so have they. And in lieu of being able to deliver what was a quite frankly an unsustainably high quality of date discussion, it all ends a bit anti-climatically; and not in the good way. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">I’m not sure there’s much to offer by way of advice here; you’ll just know when it’s happened, which it never has to me. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div>SBDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07474818758094507873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8222449249089140637.post-68239757627593158362011-03-04T12:40:00.001-08:002011-03-12T08:54:39.236-08:00I know what you did last semester<link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CJO%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><o:smarttagtype name="country-region" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype name="place" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><style>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv1rqL2CNMImxyaF3Li2vPsmmtka86kvQ9PcMelno_roSX29zbBlSVxnI7WqVebqedYvGDVVaorGdrjM0YE925zXG9Yb-IFMv-v0bGDMwusg5nuOtP8Rtxdm0QlrQKv4Tn56cziALO6vOw/s1600/copying.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv1rqL2CNMImxyaF3Li2vPsmmtka86kvQ9PcMelno_roSX29zbBlSVxnI7WqVebqedYvGDVVaorGdrjM0YE925zXG9Yb-IFMv-v0bGDMwusg5nuOtP8Rtxdm0QlrQKv4Tn56cziALO6vOw/s320/copying.jpg" width="213" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";"><br />
<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CJO%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><o:smarttagtype name="country-region" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype name="place" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><style>
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<div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">Feel like bringing down the Government or at least a prominent member thereof, but not too sure you’ve got the stamina for all that full blown revolution malarkey, what with all the shouting and the shoe waving involved? Maybe you’re claustrophobic and the thought of waiting round in a square with thousands of other people for hours on end causes you to hyperventilate, hey, you may even have a job to go to. Well fear not, because now you too can do your bit for the cause and the only thing you’ll need is a red pen. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">On Tuesday, German Defence Minister, Baron Karl-Theodor zu Guttenberg, resigned his Cabinet position, following accusations of plagiarism after his Doctoral thesis on the origins of the US and EU constitutions was shown to include significant amounts of text copied verbatim from other research papers. Guttenberg, who has proven to be a headline writers dream, is yet to answer allegations that he also plagiarised his own name from that of a villain in an unpublished Sherlock Holmes adventure<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">Barely days later it came to light that Saif al-Islam, the son of the only human being currently more mental than Charlie Sheen, Colonel Gaddafi; had apparently plagiarised his PhD thesis at the London School of Economics back in 2008. LSE are currently investigating the legitimacy of al-Islam’s work and state that they retain the power to revoke his degree if he is found guilty of plagiarism. Taking no chances however, the university’s director has already resigned, which gives a bit of an indication as to the way this one may go. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">I’ll go out on a limb here and state that plagiarism probably isn’t the worst crime either Gadaffi junior or senior have committed this week and nor is it likely to knock, ‘avoid capture and imminent death’, from the top of their list of current priorities. But nonetheless it’s an inconvenience and one that represents a new threat to the reputations of public figures, namely the validity of their academic record. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">So what is plagiarism? Surprisingly, for a relatively simple concept, what constitutes plagiarism remains the source of some debate. Traditionally plagiarism has been thought of the process whereby an individual passes someone else’s ideas or work off as their own, and for the vast majority, especially those in academic institutions, this remains true today. Increasingly however, this traditional view has come under attack by those who dispute the validity of plagiarism as a concept. When last month German author Helen Hegemann was found to have copied entire passages at length from a lesser-well known book into her critically acclaimed novel <i>Axolotl Roadkill</i>, she responded somewhat brazenly: “There’s no such thing as originality anyway, just authenticity”. This followed news in October that the Supreme Court of the <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Philippines</st1:place></st1:country-region> had allowed one of its magistrates to submit plagiarised material, some of it from Wikipedia, in a major trial, stating only that the party involved had: “at times suffered in formatting lapses”<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">In primary school, as with many things, it was all so much clearer: you either used your entire body to shield what you were writing from your classmates, so diligently that not even a NASA satellite would be able to read your unique take on the nine times table, or your work got copied; simple. If you failed in your task and your classmate got a glimpse of your work, you cried out “Miss, he’s copying!” in shrill monotone, and after a brief telling off the whole charade started again. But at least then everybody knew where they were: there were the plagiarisers and the plagiarised and no conflation between the two. You didn’t hear little Johnny arguing, after being caught copying somebody else’s answers for the fourteenth time that day, that he found the entire notion of intellectual property inherently flawed did you? <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">Nowadays, the internet has changed the game and despite the advent of anti-plagiarism software, the sheer volume of data available online means that cheats have become increasingly hard to spot, as was proven in the case of both Guttenberg and al-Islam. After all, both men were awarded their PhD’s at the time, and only had them challenged subsequently following what we can only assume is a great deal more scrutiny than most students received, no doubt due to a desire from parties unknown to discredit them from their political positions. A recent article on the BBC website sensationally titled: <i>Plagiarism: The Ctrl C, Ctrl V boom</i>, offers examiners tips in spotting plagiarism in students’ work: “You might notice a sudden variation - from good language to bad, from academic tone to journalistic tone. The pronouns go from single to plural, a sentence is cut off in the middle, or a strange reference to Australia appears”, says Judith Carroll, author of <i>A Handbook for Deterring Plagiarism in Higher Education</i>; although if the strange and inexplicable reference to Australia is anything to go by, we may suspect Ms Carroll of copying this passage from elsewhere too. Furthermore, what the article neglects to mention is The Guardian’s recent report which revealed the extent of “churnalism”, or wholesale reproduction of press releases without verification that goes on in the media at large. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">So there it is: it’s becoming increasingly hard to know whether the material we read has been written by the stated author, or merely copied from another source. I may have simply cut and paste this article from an even more obscure blog. You’ll never know. But beware, because as nobody else has ever said before: there’s always someone, somewhere with a big nose, who knows, who’ll trip you up and laugh when you fall. And with that in mind, choose you least favourite public figure, start trawling through their old-schoolbooks, hope to find some irregularities and watch them come tumbling down. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">Bibliography<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YE9Kthyaco">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YE9Kthyaco</a> <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YE9Kthyaco"></a> <o:p></o:p></span></div>SBDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07474818758094507873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8222449249089140637.post-27860490477997228562011-02-27T11:06:00.001-08:002011-02-27T11:06:11.327-08:00I read the news today, oh boy.<link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CJO%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><o:smarttagtype name="State" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype name="place" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype name="City" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype name="country-region" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><style>
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<div class="MsoNormal"><b><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";"></span></b><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";"></span><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">If, as is often said, no news is good news, then it would logically seem to follow that most news is invariably bad. This depressingly bleak assessment certainly seems to be ringing truer and louder than ever at the moment. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">The death tolls caused by natural disasters Down Under and popular uprisings in the Middle East jostle for the attention of a fickle media and quite rightly so. Events such as these, far away though they may be, are of real international concern and significance and people in this country are genuinely interested in them. But whilst sad news is never something to be greeted lightly, there is something slightly inappropriate in the way the media have reported on these events. <br />
<br />
On Wednesday, following news overnight of the earthquake in <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">Christchurch</st1:city>, <st1:country-region w:st="on">New Zealand</st1:country-region></st1:place>, <i>The Sun</i> newspaper, ran with the headline: "10 Brits Dead in Kiwi Quake". Then, the following day, with the focus of the press having switched 10,000 miles back to Libya, <i>The Daily Mail's</i> front page declared: "British rescue turns to farce: Hundreds of terrified Britons trapped in Libya". Although somewhat unusually, The Mail decided to shun the colon in the headline, opting instead to punctuate with the slightly less conventional, but in no way grammatically inferior, <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">St George's</st1:place></st1:city> Cross. Presumably in case we mistook them for some of those no good Johnny foreigners. <br />
<br />
Though both articles are broadly concerned with the major issues of the day, their overemphasis on the plight of British people in these situations is in danger of detracting from the real story. That British people are trapped in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Libya</st1:place></st1:country-region> is news, but it is surely news of secondary importance when compared with the sea change currently underway in that country. Likewise, and this is obviously a more sensitive subject, reporting how many British people are estimated to have died in the Christchurch earthquake is absolutely crucial, but it does seem in bad taste to do so without making reference to the total loss of life. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">Clearly there are issues of representation at play here, with the British media needing to appeal to the expectations of British people, who are after all are their primary audience. Cultural proximity also plays a role, that is to say that we are most interested in events affecting people that we can most identify with, in this case people of the same nationality. A clear example of this latter point can be seen in the reporting of last month’s devastating floods in <st1:state w:st="on">Queensland</st1:state>, <st1:country-region w:st="on">Australia</st1:country-region>, which happened to coincide with similar events in <st1:country-region w:st="on">Sri Lanka</st1:country-region>, <st1:country-region w:st="on">Brazil</st1:country-region> and <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Malaysia</st1:place></st1:country-region>. Despite the fact that the number of casualties was actually greater in the South East Asian and South American disasters; the coverage of the flooding in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Australia</st1:place></st1:country-region> was unquestionably given greater press prominence in this country. The common language, colonial history, sporting rivalry and First World economy shared between <st1:country-region w:st="on">Britain</st1:country-region> and <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Australia</st1:place></st1:country-region>, not to mention the considerable numbers of British expats living Down Under, makes Australian affairs automatically more newsworthy than those in less familiar countries. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">Such press bias however reached ridiculous proportions on Thursday evening, when the BBC News at Ten led with the story of the difficulties incurred at <st1:city w:st="on">Tripoli</st1:city> airport as British nationals sought to flee the increasingly volatile situation in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Libya</st1:place></st1:country-region>. The BBC showed footage of David Cameron apologising for the airport’s poor conditions as trapped British Citizens testified to a lack of organization, big queues and long waits. Without wanting to make light of the trials and tribulations of people trying to flee a country in the grips of what could well turn into a civil war, the inconvenienced travel arrangements of British citizens should not take precedence over events of greater importance in the news of this, or indeed any other, country. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Californian FB";">News is a subjective construct: decisions made by editors and producers determine what tomorrow’s big stories will be and when these decisions are made it is only right that those elements which are most likely to appeal to a British audience are pulled out. But this process, if not handled sensitively, can lead to a distortion of the facts, in which a marginal national involvement becomes the central focus of coverage, as in the evacuation of British citizens from <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Libya</st1:place></st1:country-region>. Ultimately there isn’t going to be a newsworthy “British” angle to every international news story and if journalists seek to artificially insert one, they risk reporting on events which are, when compared to<u> </u>momentous changes in history, inconsequential. <o:p></o:p></span></div>SBDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07474818758094507873noreply@blogger.com1